Kelly Clarkson Is Engaged and Probably Not Inviting You to Her Wedding

What a terrible friend Kelly Clarkson has turned out to be! First, we learn that she's actually one of those twitchy Ron Paul supporters who nevertheless uses our sprawling highway system with nary a thought to its genesis, and now she tells us about her engagement to talent manager Brandon Blackstock, stepson of Reba McEntire, on Twitter. Really, at this point in Kelly Clarkson's career, it seems like we at least deserve a mass text so that some guileless fools among us can inevitably respond with embarrassingly enthusiastic ejaculations like, "Aw, congratz Kellz!!!" followed by a preemptive, "And yes — I'll totes be your ring bearer." Instead, Kellzipan (like marzipan only with singing) broadcast the news through the fjords of social media, telling Twitter followers, "I'M ENGAGED! I wanted y'all to know!! Happiest night of my life last night!" Then self-awareness set in and Kellzipan was all, "I'm sure you'll find someone too. It's not too late =/." Fine, that didn't happen, but I bet none of us are invited to the wedding, so there. [Reuters]

  • Meanwhile in the world of social media, artist/reality TV human Deadmau5 proposed to Kat Von D on Twitter. Kat tweeted, "YES!" and the awkwardness of public marriage proposals was temporarily avoided. [Buzzfeed]
  • Speaking of engagements and keeping them, Donald Faison, of Scrubs but more importantly Clueless fame, has married Cacee Cobb. Jessica Simpson was a bridesmaid. Ashlee Simpson attended. It all happened in Zach Braff's house and was totally magical. [People]
  • Lindsay Lohan apparently sent Charlie Sheen a belated thank-you note (and flowers!!) for the $100,000 check Sheen wrote Lohan to help her manage her tax debt. [TMZ]
  • In unrelated news, Lindz is reportedly telling friends that she has "impulse control" issues. [TMZ]
  • Musical personage Trey Songz threw dollar bills at a woman in a New York strip club and was promptly arrested for assault. [TMZ]
  • Burgeoning superstar Jennifer Lawrence will host SNL on Jan. 19, and I guess we can all expect a Hunger Games sketch sans Sofia Vergara. [Just Jared]
  • Amid rumors of marital discord, Orlando Bloom's mom has insisted that her son and Miranda Kerr "do all they can to be together," and that their marriage is fine. [Telegraph]
  • Where will Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge and official steward of a musty royal bloodline, spend Christmas? With the Royal Family at Sandringham or with the Middletons in some place that isn't nearly as cool and definitely will not have a Christmas foxhunt or jousting tournament or whatever else royals do to keep themselves from gambling their jewels away in Monte Carlo? [Telegraph]
  • Rumor has it that Sharon Osbourne is being lured back into the talent show racket with a gig as a venerable X Factor judge. [Mirror]
  • Adele is officially Billboard's top artist for 2012. Was there ever any doubt? [BBC]
  • Russell Simmons, on the need to address gun control NOW. [HuffPo]