Woman Attempts to Smuggle Fuckton of Cocaine Inside Her Breast ImplantsS

Thinking about getting implants, but worried that silicon or saline won't look or feel natural enough? As an alternative, why not try filling your breasts with sweet, pure and all-natural cocaine? That's what one Panamanian woman did before traveling to Spain and, dammit, she would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that meddling Spanish airport security.

The woman came under scrutiny after arriving at Barcelona's Prat airport on a "hot flight" (a.k.a a flight coming from an area known for drug trafficking) from Bogota, Columbia. When questioned by airport security, the woman gave what officials felt were unclear reasons for her visit to Spain. They then elected to give her a physical pat down during which — and this is gross, so guard those sweater-puppies — a female officer discovered bloodied gauze and fresh incisions under the breasts which the suspect claimed were from a recent breast augmentation that "hadn't healed right."

The woman was then brought by police to a hospital in Barcelona where doctors performed surgery and found a whopping 1.4 kilograms (3 pounds) of pure cocaine hidden inside her implants, making them worth (not counting the human life attached to them) over $100,000. The woman was sewn up and promptly arrested.

Woman busted in Spain for cocaine in breast implants [CNN]

Image via CRM/Shutterstock.