Just more proof that life isn't fair: of all the toxic asshole moms you know—maybe yours is one of them!—the Cannibal Cop has unconditional, staunch maternal love. 25-year-old NYPD officer and would-be cannibal Gilberto Valle, who was arrested by the FBI in late October for his extensive online plans to kill, cook and consume various women, was denied bail for a third time on Wednesday after prosecutors read a particularly grisly Thanksgiving-related nugget of the incriminating transcript aloud (related to abducting a woman in order to procure some holiday "girl meat").
But Valle's mother Elizabeth, who hasn't seen him since his October 4th arrest, is speaking out against the charges, which she refers to as "Internet chatter," citing semantics:
"Look it up in the dictionary, the true meaning of ‘cannibal' is that he ate human meat," said Elizabeth Valle, 57. "He hasn't eaten a human being!"
"This is a parent's worst nightmare from one day to the next, and no one seems to care," she said. "If I had money to hire a good defense team, my son would be out by now."
"My son is sitting in solitary," she said. "I haven't seen my son. I haven't spoken to my son! Do you think that's fair?"
I could make a "care package" joke, but that seems in bad taste. Valle adds that she recently got a new job and is terrified that she'll be fired because of her son's reputation.
"This horrible story comes out and then the media runs with it," she said. "The whole world thinks my son eats people!"
She also mentions his care for Dudley, his dog, when she offered to watch him:
"I'd call him to bring the dog over. He'd say ‘Ma, he's still sleeping, I don't want to wake him up...' Does that sound like a freaking person who would harm anybody? He wouldn't even wake up the dog!"
Yeesh. A mother's love, guys.