Holiday Gift Guide: Presents for Stoners

It would seem like stoners are the easiest people to shop for because all you need to do is give them some weed. But that’s so impersonal. It’s the equivalent of giving an Amazon gift card. Plus, in all honesty, if your friends are really that into pot, then they probably smoke really good shit and don’t need your freebie skunk weed. Instead, let’s try to be a little more creative and a little less illegal. (Unless you’re in Colorado or Washington, in which case, have yourself a very merry Christmas!)

Wispr by Iolite

Once you’ve used a vaporizer, it’s nearly impossible to go back to inhaling smoke. The Wispr by Iolite is a butane operated handheld vaporizer that’s so small that it can fit in a clutch. The sleek design makes it so that you don’t even have to worry about hiding it in your own home if your parents visit, because they’ll probably think it’s some kind of modern air freshener or an iPod accessory. $249 [Iolite]

LED Magnetic Digital Graffiti

As suggested by commenter ChrisCroy, Think Geek has a lot of really cool, visually stimulating “toys” for adults. I understand that it sounds as though I’m describing a vibrator or dildo, but I’m not. These are actually little magnetic lights that you can attach to metal surfaces. It seems like people like to put them on cars, but if you’re going to be smoking weed, you’d be better off not getting behind the wheel and just putting them on the fridge. $12.99 [Think Geek]

Spaced: The Complete Series DVD Box Set

The 1999 British comedy series created by and starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost is a cult classic that stands the test of time. And speaking of time, if you spend a lot of it stoned, then this show—about an aspiring comic book artist, his feminist roommate, and their weirdo band of friends (who smoke a lot of weed together)—is a great pairing. $43.83 [Amazon]

Novelty Intarsia Sweater

Let’s face it, this festive ski lodge sweater is just about perfect. $59 [Urban Outfitters]

Vandaleyes Googly Eyes Starter Kit

This kit, which includes two backs of “emergency” googly eyes that vary in size and then one set of giant googly eyes, not only gives a high person a somewhat artistic activity, but it also is bound to unleash hours (or maybe minutes…but it’ll feel like hours…because time will get “weird”) of giggles. $19.50 [Archie McPhee]

Hashish Candle

This candle is a combination of the earthy scents of black currant, green apple, wormwood, patchouli (of course) and moss. Created by potter Jonathan Adler, once the candle burns out, the porcelain vessel makes a wonderful box—to put your weed in. $68 [Jonathan Adler]

Bowl Mole

As suggested by MidwestSass, the Bowl Mole is a portable “kitchen tool” that makes countersunk bowls, chambers, and passages ways into hardbodied fruit. Basically, it helps you make an apple bong without the sticky mess. $9.99 [Bowl Mole]

TV Carnage Presents Let’s Work It Out

TV Carnage has always been the best at finding ridiculous vintage footage (think bad commercials, local public access television, and live bloopers). But the artistry is in Derrick Beckles’ creative edits, that takes what he does beyond simple YouTube clips, adding context and a weird and trippy narrative. Let’s Work It Out is Beckles masterpiece in which he collected basically every exercise tape that was ever for sale, and edited them down into a hilarious stream of consciousness that will only intensify your high. $19.99 [TV Carnage]

Leaf Ornament

It makes sense. $10 [Urban Outfitters]

The Dude’s Sweater

A replica of the Cowichan Sweater worn by The Dude in The Big Lebowski, this sweater is very chunky and bound to be cozy. It weighs five pounds! And if you don’t like it, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man. $200 [80sTees.com]

Pot Psychology’s How to Be: Lowbrow Advice from High People

Yes, I’m one of the authors of this advice book, so I get that this is kind of shameless. But I also must say that as a professional advice giver, I’d be remiss to not honestly give my #1 piece of advice which is: buy this book. Available at bookstores and Urban Outfitters everywhere. $10.49 [Amazon]