Last summer, after 48 female military trainees said they had been sexually assaulted or otherwise unprofessionally treated by around two dozen instructors at the Lackland Air Force base, the Air Force reassured everyone they were launching an aggressive investigation that would get to the root of why so many officials view basic training as an all-you-can-eat sex crime buffet. Today, the Air Education and Training Command announced the solution: a "wingman policy." From now on, all Air Force trainees must be accompanied by at least one classmate at all times. What's next, chastity belts?
Look, the buddy system works great in kindergarten classrooms and summer camp field trips to theme parks! Bros in sports bars across America would be hopelessly lost without their slurring wingmen by their side. But when we're talking about a massive sex crime scandal in one of the military's busiest training centers that obviously (obviouslyyyyy) has something to do with the men in power — so far, the top commander of basic training has been fired, a staff sergeant has been sentenced to 20 years in prison for crimes including rape and aggravated sexual assault involving 10 trainees, five military training instructors have been convicted of sexual assaults or unprofessional relationships with trainees or students, and many others are still under investigation or have charges pending — a wingman policy is not only a dumb idea, it's an unbelievably offensive one.