Lady Gaga Partied So Hard in Rio That She Got a Tattoo, Burned the City Down

Lady Gaga apparently had so much fun in Rio that she got a tattoo to commemorate her good times. Then, according to her Twitter account, she and her friends inexplicably burned the entire city to the ground. "Tonight, the love we made set Rio in Flames," tweet taunted Gaga. "I'll never forget that show Brazil. You Are the City of God." Sadly, we must report this morning that nothing lives in what was once called the Latin Paradise. Rio de Janeiro has been wiped off the Earth. [ONTD]

  • Some hotshot movie producer comes to you (you are an even hottier-shottier movie producer in this scenario — congratulations on your successful life choices) and says, "I have this movie I want to make about a lonely Boston bartender who plucks an abandoned puppy out of a garbage can and subsequently becomes the target of the dog's abusive and mentally unstable former owner, while simultaneously getting tangled up in a criminal conspiracy involving the mob-owners of his speakeasy." You say something like, "Meh," and start wondering whether or not you can get Michael Bay to make a movie about Transformers that transform into puppies called "Transpuppies" (working title). Then the slick-haired movie producer says unctuously, "And I want Tom Hardy to play the puppy-rescuer." Sold, you think you say, but really, you are too overcome with joy to do anything but chew your own tongue, much the way a teething puppy, cradled in Tom Hardy's his sleeveless arms would chew on a bone. [Variety]
  • Justin Bieber has been rendered speechless by his reported split from Selena Gomez. [MTV]
  • Meanwhile, Selena Gomez appeared at LAX wearing the dead face of someone disembarking from a stuffy airliner. [TMZ]
  • Justin Timberlake lent a hand to Hurricane Sandy victims in Rockaway. [TMZ]
  • Denzel Washington has some great advice for his daughter, who is studying acting at NYU — be like Viola Davis. [THR]
  • At the Knicks game on Saturday, Very Mary Kate Olsen and decrepit 42-year-old boyfriend Olivier Sarkozy (whose name, if my Berlitz surname book doesn't fail me, translates roughly to "Man of the Superannuated Scrotum"), grossed all the other spectators out with some courtside, shampoo-pantomime PDA. [Daily Mail]
  • In trying to get within sniffing-distance of Klan Kardashian, a crowd of ordinarily mild-mannered Londoners turned into stampeding wildebeests. [Daily Mail]
  • Charlie Sheen's threats to blow a former associate's head off with a Super 90 shotgun have proved empty because, according to the gun manufacturer, the Super 90 can't blow anyone's head off — it just makes someone's head all holey. Duh. [TMZ]
  • Actor Daniel Logan, i.e. the brooding little kid who played young Boba Fett in Attack of the Clones, saved someone from a car wreck, probably so he could turn that person over to Jabba the Hut for the bounty. [TMZ]
  • American Idol finalist Elise Testone denies breaking up Idol guitar player Errol Cooney's marriage, assuring TMZ that his marriage broke apart because it probably sucked. [TMZ]
  • Your chance to masterfully orchestrate Lindsay Lohan's career resurgence has passed — Lindz signed with PR firm The Rogers & Cowan VP, and will be repped by Tej Bhatia Herring. [NYDN]
  • Matthew McConaughey has gotten alarmingly skinny for his upcoming role as an 80s-era AIDS patient in The Dallas Buyer's Club. Look upon his frail shoulders and chew your fingernails nervously. [People]
  • David and Victoria Beckham — also known by the amalgamation "The Beckhams" — saw Barbra Streisand in concert last night, where they no doubt hung out with Kevin Kline and Tom Selleck. [X17]
  • The ugly blue schmatta that Judy Garland wore in The Wizard of Oz just sold at a Beverly Hills auction for $480,000. [BBC]