I know it's not rad in terms of things being rad today, but YOU KNOW you would've hella wanted that watch in 1982. It's totally what I thought the iPhone was before I had one, just hella magical and futuristic and LOOK AT ALL THAT SHIT IT REPLACES. I know, I know, it would disintegrate the second it touched human skin, but still. Why ladies gotta have that wack shit when fellas get a MULTICHRON WITH HOURLY CHIMES (if you want it)? Gender gap, for real.

Also, this is the creepiest infomercial I've maybe ever seen, and I've seen Popeil's entire canon, OK? I feel like the only place it would be at home is in the future when the terminators win. But only if that future was also in 1985. Shivers.