Bust out the meow mix because a FUCKING CAT came in third in Virginia's Senate race. With 6,000 votes, no less! Hank the Cat ran on a pro-feline, job-creation, unlimited access to Fancy Feast (salmon supreme flavor) platform. This is not a joke, this is our reality. Well, maybe it's both, but CATZ 4 PREZ IN 2016.
It's quite an accomplishment for a dark-horse cat candidate who truly came from nothing:
From the very first day, Hank has been a fighter. Born to a single mother living on the streets, Hank, his mother, and his siblings were taken to an animal shelter and sat on death row. Shortly before their execution, Hank and the rest of his family were saved by an animal rescue group called Animal Allies. Hank was adopted to a loving family, and was raised by his adopted brother Sammy.
Being from the streets and having nothing, Hank learned the value of hard work. Putting himself through school while working, Hank was simply too stubborn and driven to let his disadvantages dictate his future.
Don't let Hank's sob story fool you, he became such a threat that a pro-dog Super PAC was formed to fight against him. Virginia's U.S. Senate ended when Democrat Tim Kaine edging out both the GOP's George Allen and a g-d Maine Coon.
Because we are in end of days, Hank wasn't the only cat running for political office; one Mr. Tuxedo Stan was on a Canadian ballot this year. So basically, animals running for government positions is the new animals with fraudulent diplomas. Exciting times we live in.