Hateful Teddy Bear Pat Robertson Awkwardly Lectures Woman About Fifty Shades of Grey

Are you doing something right now? Stop it, please, and watch this weird video of withered old coot Pat Robertson having the world’s most awkward discussion about pornography and Fifty Shades of Grey with a very uncomfortable-looking female host.

Robertson kicks off the exchange with probably the weirdest, creepiest question a man in a suit can ask a woman: “Do you see anything in porn that attracts you at all?”

And it gets awesomer from there.

Porn is boring, really. I mean, the thing that shocks me — SHOCKS ME — we always thought this was a male thing. A boy thing. A guy thing. And now, it looks like 30% of women are involved in pornography. And this author, kind of a little housewifey type, who, uh, doesn’t look like some glamor queen or something out of a […] this woman is kinda like a housewife in some little town in England or wherever it is. Fifty Shades of Grey is the fastest selling paper book of all time. And the book’s erotic content has left some to call it “mommy porn.” While most people think of pornography as something men struggle with, a third of the millions of Americans who watch porn are… WOMEN. And they’re getting addicted to it!

I agree with Robertson that pornography can be kind of boring. But men who say they are shocked — SHOCKED — that some women consume fantasy-driven sexually explicit content just like men!!! or enjoy sex in a similar way to how someone with a penis may enjoy sex!!! lead me to suspect that they probably don’t know where the clitoris is. Which makes me feel simultaneously grossed out and sorry for their wives.