Evolution Is a Thing, and the GOP Better Get on Board With It

TV pundits from across the political spectrum keep talking about how the GOP needs to take in the changing demographics of this country — how it is getting less white, younger, etc. While that is true, the implication is that we’re all morons who vote for the person whose skin color is closest to us. That’s all fine and dandy, but I’d love to see some more acknowledgement of just how straight-up FUCKING BATSHIT CRAY this Republican Presidential campaign was. If campaigns were people, it would be the loon standing on a street corner, shouting into a megaphone about how GAY PEOPLE ARE THE DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND and THAT RAPE THING IS JUST GOD’S WILL, pausing only to take phone calls from a bagel and pee into the same cup they’re drinking out of.

The GOP, as it stands, is not a viable alternative for sane voters. You can’t run on a pro-rape stance and still expect white people to vote for you just because you’re also white. There are lots of people of color who are conservative socially and/or fiscally, but you can’t run on a self-deportation/you-are-all-freeloaders platform and expect their votes. It’s ridiculous because this country should have MINIMALLY two capable, opposing opinions — it’s what could and should provide new insight and thoughtful solutions to problems like foreign policy. The other side shouldn’t be a man who just says “Israel” and “Syria” as many times as he can in two minutes. That’s not a debate, that’s arguing with a person WHO MAKES CALLS FROM A BAGEL.

The Republican powers that be are currently running themselves into the ground, and it’s not because of extreme views, but because of insane ones. There’s no reason or rationale, there is just hate and fear. What a bummer for them because they probably lost lots of fiscal hard liners who still don’t think gay people should be burned alive, or that women should be forced to give birth to their rapist’s child.

And so the next time someone tries to lie at me about Donald Trump and birth certificates and the sanctity of marriage, I’m just going to send them to this (what I’m calling a beautiful, beautiful) poem over at Rachel Maddow. I’ve excerpted it below, but really, go read the whole thing:

And climate change is real.
And rape really does cause pregnancy sometimes.
And evolution is a thing.
And Benghazi was an attack on us.
It was not a scandal by us.

And no one is taking away anyone’s guns.
And taxes haven’t gone up.
And the deficit is dropping, actually.
And Saddam Hussein didn’t have weapons of mass destruction.

Can I please get it printed on a very large shirt that I’ll wear to bed and everywhere else, too? Or fine, I’ll also take it in small type on a little crop top because TRUTH IS SEXY.

Climate change, science, and voting should not partisan issues. There is fact, and there is fiction. There is right, and there is wrong. Unless the GOP wants to become completely irrelevant, or worse, continue to launch us into a more hateful divide, ending nowhere good, the sane members of their party need to put down the bagel phone, take back the reigns, and course correct, STAT.