If you've been following Fox News' coverage of the election today then you're probably under the impression that this is a real nail-biter of a race that's so close that it could be days before it's called. That's actually not the case, as New York Times' political analyst Nate Silver is willing to bet the farm on Obama. (He's giving Romney an 8% chance of winning the Electoral College.) But you don't need a statistician to give you the odds on how Fox News will be covering Election Day because they are so fucking predictable.
Instead of reporting on actual polls that have been conducted about today's outcome, Fox decided to report on a Twitter poll, which of course is laughable, but on top of that, Romney is fairing even worse on Twitter than in legitimate polls! He's coming in third behind "No Candidate." The analyst reading the results essentially chalked up the results to "stupid kids" by saying:
"Social media often skews younger. We just offer that as a little fact about Twitter and how we look at some of the information."
During Fox & Friends, the network's morning show, a clip was played on repeat of a member of the New Black Panther Party standing in front of a polling site, as the anchors opined about whether or not he's intimidating white people:
They are an intimidating presence and could discourage white voters, who may be more likely to vote Republican, from entering polling sites.
He was not armed. He was not speaking to anybody. He was just standing there. Guess what: white people who are afraid of black people are not victims of intimidation. They are prejudiced, indefensible assholes who absolutely do not need protection against anything. Anyway, they've been stuck on this all day. Breaking: Black guy might be up to something.
And then there's the other scary black man: President Obama. Fox made a big stink about a mural of the president painted on a wall in a Philadelphia area school serving as a polling site. They said it wasn't fair and referred to it as "funny business." They eventually helped to get a judge to order that President Obama's face—which was painted in 2009 after students voted on what to put on the wall—be covered up.
Later, Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan joined up with Megyn Kelly and got very animated when discussing the differences she sees in the Romney and Obama campaigns. Actual translation:
"A Romney rally looks happy. An Obama rally feels a little…different. [Romney] also seems joyous and happy. And the president doesn't."