Mitt Romney Secretly Films People While They Sleep

If elected tomorrow, Mittens Mittbot Von Mittingham Romney will not only be the first Mormon ever to occupy the White House, he’ll also break boundaries as America’s creepiest ever President. Even creepier than Zachary Taylor, whose nickname was “Old Rough n’ Ready.” But how could Mitt Romney be creepier than John Quincy Adams and his fucking pet alligator, you might ask? Exhibits A-Z: Mitt Romney likes to secretly film his staffers as they sleep.

Atlantic Wire’s Elspeth Reeve caught this bizarre Romney factoid in the middle of a Times article from this weekend:

“Over the weekend, he took out his iPhone and began to surreptitiously record video of his aides asleep in their seats. As he prowled the cabin, laughing quietly to himself, he seemed to understand that come Tuesday, win or lose, this chapter of his life would be over.”

Wiggidy WHAT?! What the hell is Mitt Romney doing? Who told him that it was okay to act like this? The quiet laughter suggests to me that Romney considers secretly filming people as they sleep a “prank,” sort of like how he considers dressing up as a police officer and pretending to pull people over a “prank,” or holding a gay kid down and cutting his hair a “prank.” Or maybe using his church to avoid paying tens of millions of dollars in taxes is sort of a way to prank Uncle Sam? I don’t know. What I do know is that someone better teach Mitt Romney what a prank is before pranks someone all the way to the hospital.

Romney’s levels of creepiness are no small feat, as Presidents have a long, proud history of being creepy. Especially Grover Cleveland, who, at 49, married 21-year-old Frances Folsom in the White House. Cleveland had previously been Folsom’s legal guardian. But even Cleveland’s Woody Allen-levels of creep can’t compete with Creepshots by Romney. I mean, that’s some get-kicked-off-Reddit-level shit.