Kate Moss Talks About Being a 17-Year-Old Model and Having a Nervous Breakdown

Kate Moss is on the December issue of Vanity Fair, and inside, she reveals that when she did the 1992 Calvin Klein campaign that made her super duper mega famous, she was not a happy camper.

Kate Moss Talks About Being a 17-Year-Old Model and Having a Nervous Breakdown

That’s right, behind those dazed waif eyes? Pain. It’s weird, because if you were around back then, you know: These ads were EVERYWHERE. Kate was staring at you at every turn, wide-eyed, fragile, half-naked. Girls wanted to be her, and there were guys who thought she was “perfect.” Seriously, there were so many people idolizing her around this time, it felt like if you didn’t look like this, you were hideous.

Kate tells the magazine:

I had a nervous breakdown when I was 17 or 18, when I had to go and work with Marky Mark and Herb Ritts," she says. "It didn't feel like me at all. I felt really bad about straddling this buff guy. I didn't like it. I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks. I thought I was going to die. I went to the doctor, and he said, ‘I'll give you some Valium,' and Francesca Sorrenti, thank God, said, ‘You're not taking that.' It was just anxiety. Nobody takes care of you mentally. There's a massive pressure to do what you have to do. I was really little, and I was going to work with Steven Meisel. It was just really weird-a stretch limo coming to pick you up from work. I didn't like it. But it was work, and I had to do it."

She also insists that though she was thin, she did not have an eating disorder:

I was thin, but that's because I was doing shows, working really hard. At that time, I was staying at a B and B in Milan, and you'd get home from work and there was no food. You'd get to work in the morning, there was no food. Nobody took you out for lunch when I started. Carla Bruni took me out for lunch once. She was really nice. Otherwise, you don't get fed. But I was never anorexic. They knew it wasn't true-otherwise I wouldn't be able to work."

Also? After she and Johnny Depp broke up? “Years and years of crying. Oh, the tears!"

There’s more here, and also a side show .