Tami Taylor Confirms That Women of Friday Night Lights Would Hate Mitt Romney

Connie Britton, who Friday Night Lights fans will know forever and ever and ever as Tami Taylor, has caught wind of the gross co-opting of the phrase "Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose." by Mitt Romney's kleptomarketing squadron. And she's got some strong words for Romney: the women of Dillon, Texas would find Mr. Romney repugnant. And they'd probably vote for President Obama.

Y'all, Coach Taylor's supportive, tough wife is pissed. Not only is Romney using Clear eyes, full hearts without the show's creator's permission (and, awkwardly, against his wishes), he doesn't even get what the saying means in the first place. In fact, Britton argues, during Friday Night Lights' five seasons, the everywomen in Dillion faced challenges that a Romney administration would have made more difficult. Women in Dillon, and across America want choices, Britton argues, choices that Mitt Romney has promised to take away from them. From equal pay to abortion access to affordable health care, what Romney would do as President is basically shit all over FNL land.

The whole piece is worth a read, but here's the juiciest bit:

And President Obama's landmark Affordable Care Act has been transformative for women. For the first time in our lives, being a woman is no longer a pre-existing condition - our insurers can't charge us more for having breast cancer or being the victim of domestic violence. This law fully covers the cost of our preventive care, our annual check-ups, our birth control. And on Friday Night Lights, quarterback Matt Saracen's grandma would have then been able to get the affordable health care she needed.

Romney actually wants to throw the entire law — and every benefit — out, and while he's at it, get rid of Planned Parenthood-the health care provider that nearly three million Americans rely on for their life-saving cancer screenings, well-woman visits and affordable birth control. Planned Parenthood was well represented on the show, too — Brian "Smash" Williams' mom worked there, Tami got a pregnancy test there, and, after being abandoned by her parents, Becky Sproles was able to get a safe and legal abortion there.

So as women, let's take "Clear Eyes, Full Hearts" back and use it as it was always intended — as a motivator for progress, power, and greatness.

As a point of clarification, Mitt Romney has specifically said that he wouldn't throw out every aspect of the Affordable Care Act, but he's also said that he would. So he simultaneously holds conflicting viewpoints about an important issue in a naked, desperate attempt to court every voter and hope that they all trust him enough to not do any research about other things Mitt Romney has said. Following the Romney campaign reminds me of dating a person who is clearly cheating on you, but when confronted with the evidence that they haven't been faithful, they reply "I can't believe you'd ask me that question" and make you feel like the bad guy for noticing. ANYWAY.

Britton's op-ed appeared in USA-Today, America's #FUN newspaper, which means we can be sure that people staying in depressing hotels that offer "continental breakfast" that is actually just like four different kinds of cereal, a juice and coffee machine, and 3-day-old bread with individual jelly packets that were made during the Clinton administration will get a piece of her mind. Then again, voters who haven't made up their minds about whether to vote for Obama or Romney probably aren't perusing The Nation or Mother Jones for guidance on how to vote. SO USA TODAY IT IS.

This is starting to get hopelessly embarrassing for the Romney campaign, this stealing of a TV show's famous line and attempting to shoehorn it into a bloodless corporatist political agenda, and it's only a matter of time before they quit with the "clear eyes" crap. Stay tuned next week for the new, totally-not-poached-from TV Romney slogan, which will be "The Jerk Store called, and they're running out of YOU, PRESIDENT OBAMA!"

[USAT]