Miserable Troll Ann Coulter Forced to Cancel Speaking Engagement Because Everyone Hates Her

It was, apparently, the “retard” heard round the world. After sending a terribly stupid, ill-advised Tweet congratulating Mitt Romney for going easy on “the retard” (the retard being the President — GOD ANN YOU ARE SO EDGY. ANY N-WORDS UNDER YOUR HAT?), people started to sour even more on Coulter’s idiocy vanguard schtick. Naturally, Coulter and her fans have claimed that protesting Ann’s sound and fury is akin to violating her free speech. Waahmbulance, consider yourself called.

Coulter’s retard comment wasn’t the first time she’s acted like a total fucking dick in public and expected people to find it cute. In the past, she’s claimed that excess radiation is good for you and prevents cancer, that Dr. Tiller wasn’t murdered, he was just “terminated in the 203rd trimester,” that if only we’d take away women’s right to vote, that planet Earth is totally asking to be raped (her words!), the world would be a better place, that Republican (“our”) blacks are better than Democratic (“their”) blacks, and a whole lot of stuff that a blonde WASP lady should not say about Jews. If a homeless man on the train was saying things that Ann Coulter said, you would move to a different car and report the disruptive behavior to MTA officials. You saw something. You said something. Good for you, patriot.

Anyway, in Canada, hate speech laws are slightly different than they are in the US of A, and when it was announced that Coulter was scheduled to make a stop at the University of Ottawa during a three-city tour of the country, the student body President wrote Coulter a letter reminding her (politely, obviously, because remember this letter was written by a Canadian) that the kind of meanie pants malarkey she trumpets isn’t taken very kindly Canadaside. Coulter, a millionaire American white person who regularly appears on major media outlets before millions of people, never misses an opportunity to portray herself as a victim of liberal silencing, and so of course she leaked the letter to conservative media outlets. HELP, HELP, I’M BEING REPRESSED! etc.

But the letter struck a chord with University of Ottawa students, who showed up in droves to voice their dissatisfaction that the queen of racist, sexist, every -ist and -phobe imaginable bluster was going to appear at their university. University officials determined that the 2,000 person-strong crowd of “threatening” (“probably some of them were black”) protesters were creating an “unsafe environment” for Coulter, and that it would be best for her personal safety if she skipped appearing before the whopping 100 people who had gathered to listen to her talk.

Conservative commentator Ezra Levant finger wagged at the protesters, declaring it “an embarrassing day for the University of Ottawa and their student body… who chose to silence her through threats and intimidation.” The disappointed crowd parroted Levant’s FOR SHAME-ing while the 20-times-larger protest crowd chanted “Goodbye Ann!” Police were called, but despite the fact that Coulter’s camp portrayed the protesters as a group of mob enforcers punching their right hands into the palm of their left hands or swinging bats with nails halfway hammered into them, there were no incidents.

Coulter responded with characteristic grace and class, by calling the University of Ottawa “bush league” and rotating her head 360 degrees before vomiting green goo onto a Catholic nun.

UPDATE: Apparently my Google alert for Ann Coulter is as timeless as Ann’s constant trolling — the story popped up on my feed today, but the incident occurred in 2010. Post “retard” comment, Coulter would be advised to remain clear of Canada.