Not a direct quote, but I think the sentiment is pretty clear. Following Michael Lohan's ill-fated intervention/publicity-grab last week, Lindsay Lohan's publicist Steve Honig has quit. Honig says it has nothing to do with Lindsay and everything to do with Michael—who called him a "fucking liar" after Honig refused to admit complicity in the intervention.
Michael Lohan tells us, he butted heads with Steve big time in the weeks leading up to his Lindsay intervention on Friday — but things came to a head over the weekend, when Steve released a statement saying Lindsay's management team had nothing to do with Michael's plans.
Michael flipped out on Steve over the statement, calling him a "f**king liar" in a text message.
...Steven and Lindsay have been through a lot together — Lindsay's jewelry heist, her numerous car accidents, health scares, and 911 calls.
Steve tells us he didn't quit purely over MiLo, saying ... "Michael wishes he were that important."
Run, little Steve, run. Run and never look back. El-ahrairah awaits you with his heavenly Owsla. [TMZ]
Oh, what do you know, Bobby Brown got a DUI. Is it just me, or is that the best possible outcome of a sentence starting with "Bobby Brown got a..."? [TMZ]
A Georgia woman is suing Joe Francis & Co. (seriously, it's called MRA Holding??) for being complete pieces of shit who coerced her into flashing her boobs when she was 14 YEARS OLD, then slapping her face on the cover of a billion Girls Gone Wild DVDs. Not sure why exactly she's suing him for Being a Dickhead in the First Degree instead of CHILD PORNO, but my only law credentials are 10,000 non-billable hours of Law & Order.
"[The cameramen] didn't have big equipment with them or ‘Girls Gone Wild' t-shirts or anything," Boyd told ABC News affiliate WSB-TV on Oct. 3.
The image of the cover still haunts Boyd and says it ruined her life and reputation. Boyd says she found out about the video a few years later while in high school.
"Teachers knew about it, coaches knew about it. It was devastating. It was so embarrassing," Boyd said.
If anyone's considering heading down to the comments and pontificating about how 14-year-old CHILDREN should know better than to be pressured into sexual situations by fully-grown adults, kindly go eat some bees instead. [ABC]
It's Degrassi's 300th episode, you guys!!!!! Let's all talk about our favorite Degrassi moments. Mine is when Darcy can't deal with the psychological aftermath of her rape, so she attempts to seduce her Media Immersion teacher Mr. Archie "Snake" Simpson by drawing a colored-pencil sketch of a big-boobie lady-snake and proposing that it become the new Degrassi mascot, even though they already have a mascot, which is a panther. JK Y'ALL I DON'T HAVE A FAVORITE DEGRASSI MOMENT BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE LIKE CHOOSING BETWEEN MY 300 CHILDREN AND I AM NOT A MONSTER. [EW]
- Kate Middleton has been named the #1 "Most Naturally Beautiful Woman in Britain," which I guess means that she is not a mannequin that's been brought to life by a sorcerer, a toaster with lipstick on it, or a colored-pencil drawing of a big-boobie snake. [TheSun]
- Uhhhhh...Levi Johnston is getting married, so...my condolences to zero disappointed ladies. [Radar]
- If Helena Bonham-Carter's acting career ever fizzles out, she has a back-up plan, which is grimy Dickensian pickpocket. [DailyMail]
- Everyone cried at the Spice Girls reunion. [DailyMail]
- Chris Kirkpatrick wasn't invited to Justin Timberlake's wedding. Also Chris Kirkpatrick is engaged now, much to the dismay of contrarian 8th graders in 1999. [E!]
- Christina Aguilera says, "I want to play a crackhead!" What...like a marimba? You want to play a crackhead at Guess Who? (IT'S BERNARD, MR. CRACKHEAD. GUESS BERNARD.) [E!]
- Alessandra Ambrosio had "fun" in L.A. [JustJared]
- Ugh. I hate this Timberbiel homeless-guys-say-the-darndest-things video scandal more and more and more and more every minute. TMZ tracked down one of the participants in the video, a gentleman named Eddie, who says he was paid $40 for his time, and adds, That makes me feel really bad ... that was a trick played on me." Oops, I'm literally crying now. Hey rich dicks, poor people are not your toys. [TMZ]
- Chris Brown's rep says that Chris Brown definitely didn't call a fan a "faggot" the other day. I'm sure. Because it seems totally out of character. [Yahoo!]
- Jessica Biel is changing her name to Jessica Timberlake! How positively quaint! [JustJared]
- Legit important. [YouTube]