A group of parents in Encinitas, CA are outraged that a local school is teaching the cult of yoga to their impressionable youth. Worried that their kids will forget all about the great Jesus Christ and start following that slut Ganesha down the path of temptation to get away from their
Christian off-spring. Okay, they're not saying that, but what I'm saying is, do these same parents have their puritan panties in a bunch over the Pledge Of Allegiance? It's possible, but I'm guessing not.
If that wasn't clear enough, I don't think this is actually about religion, but rather, about the wrong kind of religion — forgetting the fact that most ''philosophy'' that's taught in regular yoga classes usually amounts to stuff Christians believe in anyway, i.e. be a good person and shit. But the thing is, the school district has removed all religious content from the yoga classes, these kids are just getting their child-sized sweat on in the twice-weekly classes. Ain't nothing wrong with a little Downward Dog.
Even so, area
paranoids parents are skeptical, they believe yoga is a way to invite Hindu deities into the body:
"I think that they really would like to think that [they've stripped any semblance of religion from the classes], but I don't think that, in actuality, it has been done," said Mary Eady, who removed her son from the classes. "There's really a lot of unease among a lot of parents."
Well, that's totally reasonable. These parents are not bigoted asshats, at all. Please ignore the fact that millions of people practice non-religious yoga in the United States now, it's so mainstream that I'm pretty sure there's a yoga studio up my butt and around the corner. The school district is just trying to provide exercise and stress relief for children, and Ashtanga is a great choice — it's a very precise practice and a terrific workout. And, honestly, if there is anything more adorable than a kid in child's pose? NAME IT, LIAR.
I'm not religious, I'm not a parent, and I don't regularly do yoga, but this situation just stinks to me and therefore, I'm gonna have to call bullshit on this would-be lawsuit, prescribe chill pills to all the parents in question, and insist on everyone taking two mixed metaphors and calling me in the morning. Now STFU, and get out of my court room!
Image via Nick_Nick/ Shutterstock.