Unprincipled perennial panderer Mitt Romney is really digging in deep in the final weeks before November 6, going after every last vote with the zeal of a Howard Hughes-style crazy billionaire trying to fly an airplane to space. And as time runs out on the election season, his campaign has gotten more desperate — so desperate, in fact, that his newest ad straight up lies about the candidate's position on abortion. And even though Fake Mitt Romney's "moderate" position on abortion is still pretty terrible, what's really scary is that some women may be buying it.

The spot features an actress playing a Concerned Mother encouraging viewers go go right ahead and ask Mr. Google what Mitt Romney thinks about abortion. According to her computer research, she explains, Mitt Romney fucking loves birth control. He also doesn't think rape victims should be forced to give birth! Nor should women in danger of dying from pregnancy-related complications!

Wow! Someone award this guy the Bare Minimum of Human Decency Award!

Even those dumb claims don't shake out. Forbes has a helpful rundown today of what the candidates really believe on a variety of women's issues. And, SHOCKINGLY, if Mitt Romney had something called Pinocchio Disease, every time that crock of crap aired in a swing state, his nose would grow at least an inch. He's on the record a number of times opposing laws that mandate employer insurance plans cover contraception — so while he may love contraception, he wants you to pay for it yourself rather than using your employer provided benefits to purchase a medication that your Puritan employer finds distasteful. He doesn't hate birth control; he just hates it when women can easily access birth control. Kind of like how sullen hipster teens hated it when lame Lacoste wearing kids found out about The Arcade Fire.

Additionally, here's another fact about Mitt Romney — he has stated that he believes that life begins at conception, and that if he had the opportunity to sign a bill outlawing all abortion, he'd be "delighted." That's a fact. And don't even get me started on his running mate. While Mitt Romney may be playing moderate for now, you want a guy who has said, "I'm as pro-life as a person gets. You're not going to have a truce. Judges are going to come up. Issues come up, they're unavoidable, and I'm never going to not vote pro-life" to be a heartbeat away from the Oval — or should I say Ovum? — office?

Planned Parenthood Action Fund is definitely not amused — or convinced — by the new ad, and released the following statement today,

"This is an ad designed to deceive women. The Romney team knows that Mitt Romney's real agenda for women's health is deeply unpopular – ending safe and legal abortion, ending Planned Parenthood's preventive care that millions of people rely on, and repealing the Affordable Care Act and the coverage of birth control with no co-pay. Romney can run from his own agenda, but he can't hide – women will hold him accountable at the polls on election day."

A woman voting for Mitt Romney based on these ads will be doing the electoral equivalent of getting in a windowless van because the man driving says he has candy and a big, big dollhouse inside. Mitt Romney is not a moderate — he's just playing on on television.

[NYTimes]