Rabbi Yaakov Rosenblatt, who is apparently not only a Rabbi but the definitive judge of good Jews, women, and pastrami sandwiches (he also manufactures kosher meat), is concerned about Sarah Silverman. He's mad, too — mad that her most recent political initiative, "Let My People Vote," employs biblical rhetoric — but, mostly, he wants Sarah to know that her proven (and effective) interest in politics is nothing more substantial than a consequence of her barren womb. She just needs something to fill that big empty void in her heart/between her legs!
Here, from the mouth of the schmuck himself:
"I think, Sarah, that marriage and childrearing are not in the cards for you because you can't focus on building life when you spend your days and nights tearing it down."
"...in my opinion, Sarah, that is why you have had trouble forging a permanent relationship – the most basic desire of the feminine soul."
Ugh, it's the worst when someone repeatedly uses your name when they're trying to patronize you. But we're just getting started — here's more on why Sarah (say it in your best fake-concerned voice) should stop fiddling around with silly politics and start having babies:
"I think you have latched on to politics because you are searching for something to build. There is only so much pulling down one can do without feeling utterly destructive. You want to fight for a value so you take your belief – secularism – and promote it. As an Orthodox rabbi, I disagree with just about everything you say, but respect your right to say it. All I ask, respectfully, is that you not use traditional Jewish terminology in your efforts. Because doing so is a lie.
Nothing you say or stand for, Sarah, from your sickening sexual proposal to a Republican donor to your equally vulgar tweet to Mitt Romney, has the slightest thing to do with the most basic of tenets which Judaism has taught the world – that the monogamous relationship is the most meaningful one and that a happy marriage is the key to wholesomeness."
Funny; I went to Hebrew school, but I must have missed the lecture on how the first tenet of Judaism is "join Focus on the Family."
Why is Rabbi Rosenblatt so threatened by Sarah Silverman? Because — make no mistake — that's exactly what he is. He's clearly threatened by the fact that a 42-year-old childless (gasp!), unmarried (double gasp!) woman (TRIPLE GASP!) wields so much power and influence — and that she actually seems fulfilled by her unorthodox life choices.
The best part of his article is the comments, because Donald, Sarah's real dad, stops by for a visit:
Hey Rabbi Idiot: Is your wife allowed to go to a minion or sit at the front if a bus or choose between abortion or birth. Take your false god and shove god up your judgmental ass. Check your wonderful bible and learn about your cruel god from a book you believe in literally.
Hey asshole: Daughter #1 is a rabbi. Not by your standards. She's reform. How dare she, a lowly woman think god wants her to be a rabbi, created from a mere rib. Her hubby, three times nominated for a nobel peace prize was listed by the Jerusalem Post as the 49th most influential jew in the world built the worlds largest solar field in israel. By the way, Sarah was also on the list. I missed your name. Oldest granddaughter is serving in the Israel Defense Forces. I'm sure you also served.Oh I forgot the orthodox don't do that. You don't fuck with my family.
Now, there's a real mensch.
An Open Letter to Sarah Silverman [Jewish Press]