Florida, the land of completely fucked up happenings and, just to even things out, Key Lime Pie, is now not only home to the you-only-live-once-so-stop-being-such-a-coward gator pool party, but also, thanks to some enterprising animal handlers at Dade City's private zoo Wild Things, the tiger cub pool, featuring a real Siberian tiger cub named Tony. For the low, low price of $200 and your signature on a release form absolving Tony's handlers from responsibility should Tony high-five your child in the jugular, your kid can spend an awkward 30 minutes in a pool trying to hug an adorably confounded eight pound tiger. For an extra $400 and a vow of silence, I've heard that the trainers will fill up a pool with milk and let Tony swim around in it, and, yes, that may be a baseless rumor, but would it really surprise you if it turned out to be true?
It wouldn't surprise you, of course, because Florida is a stalactite of weirdness dripping off the continental United States. Asked whether or not swimming with a squeaky mini-predator is dangerous or not, Wild Things' truth-teller Randy Stearns said, in so many words, pretty much, yeah, but it's strictly no big deal in the land where people have bug eating deathmatches: