Look, it's Dreamworks' The Croods, a new animated flick that will absolutely be compared to Brave because it's about a female protagonist with big hair who goes against her parent's wishes. Except Crood has a secret weapon: Nicholas Cage!!!
You know they had to twist his arm to get him to star in this. Wait, the opposite actually. That fool will be in literally (LITERALLY) anything (ANY. THING.) because he's broke-as-hell and needs to pay off all the Superman comics and castles he's purchased. Is he our new Michael Jackson?? I'm so sorry, Michael Jackson, I take it all back. I think it's more like Marlon Brando's ghost calling him being like, "I ALREADY DID THAT, KID. BACK OFF."
Ugh, I just love that ridiculous fuck like I love no other, it is a love born in repulsion, and it manifests itself as complete fascination, disgust, and somewhat bizarrely, lust. I don't know, I just let my heart do the walking and it walks me straight into that comely variable hairline of a "man."
Anyway, Crood looks like it has some potential — well, potential might be a bit strong, but at least the lead isn't a total cartoon babe. Do you think it will end with her meeting a nice boy caveman? And getting cave-married?? I can hardly cave-wait!