Dubious, Uh, "Study" Claims Blonde Women Are Most Likely To Cheat

This fucking toxic social media website called Cheaterville, which allows you to call out your unfaithful partner in a public forum on behalf of all of the men or women who will henceforth fall into his/her sexdevil talons, has released some statistics on the people listed by their scorned partners.

42% of the unfaithful women on the website have blonde hair, 23% are redheads, brunettes came in at 20% and black-haired women at 11%. Men, on the other hand, are predominantly brown-haired (40%), then black haired (23%), blondes at 20%, and that rare unicorn The Male Ginger rings in at 5%. As for Shakira circa 2001: Does Not Compute. System Fail. Rebooting Automatically.

Let’s face it, the holes in this “data” could sink a ship, considering it’s anecdotal and doesn’t consider chemical hair dye or baldness, and—oh, right, it’s from a website called Cheaterville. But here are some more definitive categories that are, alas, unlisted in the study.

100% of people who take this information seriously are indefensible asshats.
100% of people who have cats on their head have cats on their head.
100% of water is wet.
This is 100% Ronald McDonald.
100% of women with hair made of live snakes are Medusa.