A new promo for Lifetime's Liz & Dick movie declares "Lindsay is back" and calls this her "first starring role in 5 years." Lindsay says she's a huge Elizabeth Taylor fan, and relates to her "on a lot of levels." For instance: Living in the public eye, and dealing with the stress of gossip. Cut to: A shot of Lindsay, as Liz, lying on a bed after taking a bunch of pills. That said, while this trailer has some behind-the-scenes footage and a few peeks at Lindsay as older, White-Diamonds-era Liz ("Can't you leave us alone?!"), it seems to focus not on Elizabeth Taylor, screen legend, but on Lindsay "Look at Meeeee" Lohan, the celebrity Lifetime considers a coup to have cast.

Oh, and this is not a joke: Lindsay Lohan says she understands Liz Taylor because they both liked diamonds.

Even more terrible? Grant Bowler, who plays Richard Burton, says that Lindsay is "pretty much Elizabeth Taylor. Reincarnated." No. Nope. Sorry, buddy, that's not how reincarnation works.