Bible-Toting High School Cheerleaders Continue Futile Quest to Get God to Care About Football

Cheerleaders at one Texas high school have fought tooth, nail, and poms to hold signs containing scripture verses at football games, despite a statewide ban on the practice. Yesterday, their prayers were answered when a judge granted them the right to literally tote the Bible around on the sidelines. B-E! R-E-G! R-E-S-S-I-V-E! Be! Regressive! Got to be regressive!

Cheerleaders at Kountze Independent School District have traditionally held up large banners that contain Bible verses before home football games, which the football players then honor by running through as they take the field. But when an atheist (ughhhh ATHEISTS) complained that having a school-sponsored club at a school-sponsored event hold signs that contain religious slogans, it sure seems like the school is implicitly promoting religion. Cheerleaders swear that the signs are made on private property off of school grounds, but precedent doesn’t seem to be in their favor; courts have previously ordered another team of cheerleaders in another high school in another state knock it off.

But, for the next two weeks, at least, Kountze High’s peppiest can show some school (Holy) Spirit by continuing to hoist the signs, thanks to a temporary restraining order granted by a sympathetic judge.

The group representing the cheerleaders cheered the ruling, saying,

“We are excited that the cheerleaders for the Kountze High School Lions can again do what they do best — cheer on their football team without government censorship,” said Mike Johnson, senior counsel for the Texas-based Liberty Institute.

A hearing is scheduled for October 4th. At that point, let’s hope someone points out that, God doesn’t need your dumb football signs. He can read your thoughts. Like Santa.