Italian scientists have announced that they've discovered a positive correlation between women being remarkably good looking and the likelihood that she'll have one of the worst kinds of lady pain. Leave it to the home of Silvio "Bunga Bunga" Berlusconi to commission a study that tracks the relationship between a woman's fuckability and the occurrence of a painful gynecological condition.
Endometriosis, for the blissfully uninitiated, is when the same tissue that lines the uterus grows elsewhere in the body— like the fallopian tubes or the vagina. This leads to cramping and bleeding and lying curled in a fetal position facing a wall cursing the moment you were born female. It's also a common infertility culprit.
So, naturally, the curious Italians decided to test a theory on women who have the painful, sometimes heartbreaking disease — was it just them, or were women with the really bad form of endometriosis super hot?
Doctors assembled 300 women — 100 of whom had a particularly awful affliction known as "retrovaginal endometriosis," 100 who had just plain old regular endometriosis, and 100 women who didn't have endometriosis. Doctors then gave them the once-over, measuring their body mass indices, breast size, and waist-to-hip ratio. They also had two doctors who didn't know the disease status of the women rate them on an attractiveness scale of 1 to 5. They found that women who suffered from retrovaginal endometriosis had teeny weeny BMI's and big bountiful bosoms with greater frequency than their peers.
This is all sounding very enlightened so far, but wait until we get to the best part —
The women also completed a questionnaire about their sexual history, and the results showed that women with severe endometriosis were more likely to have had sexual intercourse before age 18. This could be a result of these women being more attractive, even during adolescence, the researchers said.
I'm just going to leave that one there.
But the study wasn't just an excuse for researchers to get close to some hot ladies; it may shed some light on what causes endometriosis. Some experts believe that the same hormones that cause a woman to be the bomb (that's a medical term, from 1994) may also cause her to develop uterine tissue in places where it shouldn't be.
While it's not exactly clear why women with severe endometriosis may be more attractive than others, the hormone estrogen could play a role, the researchers said. Studies have shown that more-attractive women have higher levels of estrogen, and higher levels of the hormone also may be linked with the development of endometriosis.
To put that in terms of Spider-man, a beautiful woman's gift is her curse.
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