109 Headlines About Jessica Simpson's Baby Weight

In May, Jessica Simpson gave birth to her first child, a daughter named Maxwell Drew Johnson. In the following months, she’s kept a low profile, but her name has dominated gossip sites and news feeds… and 99% of the headlines have been about her weight. Today, Jessica appeared on Katie Couric’s new talk show, “debuting” her post-partum body, and buzz about her weight reached a fever pitch.

Jessica has been part of the public consciousness for over a decade. Her debut single, “I Wanna Love You Forever,” was released in 1999. She went on to have a few more hits, and in 2003, her reality show, Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica aired on MTV. Appearing on that show — broadcasting her farts and her thoughts about tuna (“Is this chicken that I have or fish?”) — set a precedent, in which her private life became public. But this baby weight thing is fucking crazytown. Clearly she has participated in the “news” — inking a deal with Weight Watchers four weeks after her baby was born. But the sheer volume of reports about her body — her weight — is mind-boggling.

Obviously, we’re a very celebrity-obsessed culture. And we’re always talking about weight and body image. Moms and motherhood? Hot topics. Thus, the Jessica Simpson Baby Weight Loss narrative, a combination of three favorite talking points, has become a juggernaut, chugging along for months. It’s not just about her anymore: It’s about fat-shaming, what we expect from mothers, accepting that weight loss is hard work, feeling that celebrities are “just like us” and, of course, Schadenfreude.

Today, while viewers gawked at Jessica’s body (clad in black, very slimming!) Katie asked Jessica about her “lucrative” deal with Weight Watchers — specifically, the commercial, in which Jessica is in a very tight shot, a close up, head and shoulders only. No full body shot. Jessica explained that it’s because:

“I really didn’t want it to be about my weight. I wanted it to be about the spirit of Weight Watchers.”

Sorry, what? You didn’t want your weight-loss ad to be about weight? Hmm. Okay. Jessica also said that when she was pregnant:

“My doctors were telling me it was a lot of water weight and I thought, whenever my water broke I would just lose all the weight… My stomach would go down.”

None of this is groundbreaking, scintillating, newsworthy or interesting, but still: Updates about Jessica’s body will surely continue. This is what America cares about. And Jessica has played along, tweeting about her pedometer and promoting Weight Watchers, as we imagine she is contractually obligated to do. Just to give you an idea of how much information is out there, we’ve been saving Jessica Simpson headlines all summer. She’s struggling, she denies struggling, she’s losing, she’s not losing, her boobs are huge, it’s all here. 109 headlines, not about her accomplishments as a business woman, not about music, her baby, a TV show, movies, charity, or death. About weight.