In May, Jessica Simpson gave birth to her first child, a daughter named Maxwell Drew Johnson. In the following months, she's kept a low profile, but her name has dominated gossip sites and news feeds… and 99% of the headlines have been about her weight. Today, Jessica appeared on Katie Couric's new talk show, "debuting" her post-partum body, and buzz about her weight reached a fever pitch.

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Jessica has been part of the public consciousness for over a decade. Her debut single, "I Wanna Love You Forever," was released in 1999. She went on to have a few more hits, and in 2003, her reality show, Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica aired on MTV. Appearing on that show — broadcasting her farts and her thoughts about tuna ("Is this chicken that I have or fish?") — set a precedent, in which her private life became public. But this baby weight thing is fucking crazytown. Clearly she has participated in the "news" — inking a deal with Weight Watchers four weeks after her baby was born. But the sheer volume of reports about her body — her weight — is mind-boggling.

Obviously, we're a very celebrity-obsessed culture. And we're always talking about weight and body image. Moms and motherhood? Hot topics. Thus, the Jessica Simpson Baby Weight Loss narrative, a combination of three favorite talking points, has become a juggernaut, chugging along for months. It's not just about her anymore: It's about fat-shaming, what we expect from mothers, accepting that weight loss is hard work, feeling that celebrities are "just like us" and, of course, Schadenfreude.

Today, while viewers gawked at Jessica's body (clad in black, very slimming!) Katie asked Jessica about her "lucrative" deal with Weight Watchers — specifically, the commercial, in which Jessica is in a very tight shot, a close up, head and shoulders only. No full body shot. Jessica explained that it's because:

"I really didn't want it to be about my weight. I wanted it to be about the spirit of Weight Watchers."

Sorry, what? You didn't want your weight-loss ad to be about weight? Hmm. Okay. Jessica also said that when she was pregnant:

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"My doctors were telling me it was a lot of water weight and I thought, whenever my water broke I would just lose all the weight… My stomach would go down."

None of this is groundbreaking, scintillating, newsworthy or interesting, but still: Updates about Jessica's body will surely continue. This is what America cares about. And Jessica has played along, tweeting about her pedometer and promoting Weight Watchers, as we imagine she is contractually obligated to do. Just to give you an idea of how much information is out there, we've been saving Jessica Simpson headlines all summer. She's struggling, she denies struggling, she's losing, she's not losing, her boobs are huge, it's all here. 109 headlines, not about her accomplishments as a business woman, not about music, her baby, a TV show, movies, charity, or death. About weight.

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Jessica Simpson: I'm "So Excited" About $4 Million Weight Watchers Deal [Us]

Exclusive: Jessica Simpson Gives Up Fast Food! [Us]

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Happy Birthday, Jessica Simpson! See Her Changing Body Over The Years [Radar Online]

Poor Thang: Jessica Simpson Has Been Funking Up The Crib In Her Attempts To Transform Her Chubby Lumpkins Steez To Slimmy Trimmy Status [Bossip]

Exclusive: Jessica Simpson Has First Weight Watchers Weigh-In [Us]

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Jessica Simpson At 182 Pounds - Diet Disaster. Must Lose 70 lbs [Hollywood Life]

Jessica Simpson Weight Watchers: How Much Weight Did She Put On With Baby Maxwell? [International Business Times]

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How Much Weight did Jessica Simpson Gain During Pregnancy? [National Eldger]

Jessica Simpson's First Weight Watchers Weigh In [Daily Glow]

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Jessica Simpson To Shed 70 Pounds [Tribune]

Jessica Simpson gained 30 kilos [Fraser Coast Chronicle]

Jessica Simpson gained 70 pounds during pregnancy [The Sun Daily]

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When Will Jessica Simpson Lose the Baby Weight? In Good Time, People! [Health]

Despite battle to lose 70 pounds, Jessica Simpson binges on birthday brownies [Examiner]

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Jessica Simpson Trying to Lose Baby Weight [Inquistr]

Jessica Simpson buys Weight Watchers group pedometers [New York Daily News]

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Jessica Simpson to Weight Watchers Group: "Let's Step It Up!" [Us Weekly]

Jessica Simpson Buys Pedometers for Her Weight Watchers Group, Tweets About It [People]

Jessica Simpson Shares Her New Weight Loss Strategy [Babble]

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Determined to get back into Daisy Dukes! Jessica Simpson gifts pedometres to fellow Weight Watchers to shift pounds together [Daily Mail]

Jessica Simpson has to lose weight or lose $4M [San Francisco Examiner]

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Jessica Simpson Focusing On Losing Baby Weight 'One Pound At A Time' [Star Pulse]

Jessica Simpson takes weight loss after baby one step at a time [Celebrity Cafe]

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Jessica Simpson Reveals Her New Weight-Loss Plan: Pedometers! [iVillage]

Jessica Simpson Baby Weight Loss Secret Revealed [Popular Critic]

Jessica Simpson wants to get back in shape [Times of India]

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Jessica Simpson Steps It Up, Literally! [Radar Online]

Jessica Simpson Spent Birthday "Getting Harassed for Her Post-Baby Body"? [Gossip Cop]

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Jessica Simpson Steps Up, Buys Pedometers for Her Weight Watchers Group [E!]

Jessica Simpson pushes to peel off pregnancy pounds with pedometer purchase [Examiner]

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Jessica Simpson Sends Gifts To Her Weight Watchers Pals [Hollywood Life]

Jessica Simpson: ‘Just Taking a Walk Around the Block' [Extra]

Jessica Simpson: Loving being a part of Weight Watchers [Celebrity Cafe]

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Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Begins With a Few Steps [Daily Glow]

How Much Weight Has Jessica Simpson Lost Since Giving Birth to Maxwell Drew? [National Ledger]

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Jessica Simpson Wins Teen Choice MILF Award [Best Movies Ever]

Jessica Simpson's Post-Baby Body A Rallying Cry for Celeb Moms, Says Kendra Wilkinson (EXCLUSIVE) [Celebuzz]

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Jessica Simpson's "Secret Chocolate Binges" Imperiling Weight Watchers Deal? [Gossip Cop]

Jessica Simpson's Family & Friends Doing Weight Watchers To Help Her Drop Baby Weight [Radar Online]

Jessica Simpson gets weight loss support from family [Monsters & Critics]

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Jessica Simpson struggling to lose baby weight [SF Gate]

Jessica Simpson denies baby weight struggle [Made For Mums]

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Jessica Simpson's Eating Plan: How She's Losing The Weight [Hollywood Life]

Jessica Simpson Considering Plastic Surgery to Remove Baby Weight? [Gossip Cop]

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New Mom Jessica Simpson Flaunts Her Curves In Floral Dress [Radar Online]

Jessica Simpson's Shocking Weight Loss! Star Drops 35 Pounds [Entertainmentwise]

Jessica Simpson Loses 35 Pounds! [Showbiz Spy]

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Jessica Simpson: Already Down 35 Pounds [Hollywood Life]

Jessica Simpson is Working Her Way Back to Her Daisy Dukes [Ok!]

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Jessica Simpson Giving Up The Booze For Water Instead [Babble]

Jessica Simpson 'indulging once a week' [Belfast Telegraph]

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Jessica Simpson Has Lost 35 Pounds As Weight Watchers Deadline Looms Ahead [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]

Jessica Simpson Drinks Water, Not Alcohol, on Saturday Night [Us Weekly]

Jessica Simpson talks diet change since having daughter [Hollywood News]

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Jessica Simpson: I'm Feeling "Inspired" About Dieting [Us Weekly]

Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Inspired by $4M or Fitness Bug? [Splash News]

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Jessica Simpson Feeling ‘Inspired' To Get Healthy [Access Hollywood]

Jessica Simpson inspired to diet [Sydney Morning Herald]

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Jessica Simpson: I Feel Inspired About Dieting! [iVillage]

With help from friends, Jessica Simpson battles her 70-pound baby bulge [Examiner]

Jessica Simpson: "Inspired" To Lose Baby Weight [Celebrity Baby Scoop]

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Jessica Simpson reaches 'halfway happy weight' [Belfast Telegraph]

Jessica Simpson Weight — From Daisy Duke To Motherhood [TMZ]

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Report: Jessica Simpson Can't Lose Weight Because She is Pregnant Again [Celeb Dirty Laundry]

Jessica Simpson May Be Pregnant Again? [Gossip Cop]

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Jessica Simpson 'Excited' To Show Off Baby Weight Loss [Radar Online]

Jessica Simpson continues battle of the baby weight as she shifts excess pounds... but her fiancé seems to be piling them on [Daily Mail]

Kourtney Kardashian Is 45 Pounds Heavier Post Pregnancy: Will She Be The Next 'Weight Watchers' Spokesperson? [International Business Times]

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Jessica Simpson To Debut Post-Baby Body [Rumor Fix]

Jessica Simpson in race to get in shape before appearance on Katie Couric's new chat show [Daily Mail]

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Jessica Simpson to Make Post-Baby Debut on Katie Couric's New Talk Show [Us]

Jessica Simpson in bid to shed to flab before appearing on new chat show [Zee News India]

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Jessica Simpson Watches "24" on the Treadmill! [Us]

Jessica Simpson To Debut Her Post-Baby Body On September 10 [Hollywood Life]

Jessica Simpson Says She Thought Baby Weight Would ‘Come Off With The Baby' [Inquisitr]

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Jessica Simpson reveals weight loss struggle after baby [Page Six]

'My body is not bouncing back like a supermodel': New mother Jessica Simpson on her struggle to shift the pounds [Daily Mail]

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Jessica Simpson: My ‘Body Is Not Bouncing Back Like a Supermodel' [ABC News]

Jessica Simpson: 'My Body Is Not Bouncing Back Like a Supermodel' [People]

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Jessica Simpson's baby fat woes: Weight loss isn't easy [Examiner]

Jessica Simpson: I ate what I wanted [Belfast Telegraph]

Jessica Simpson tackles pregnancy pounds [USA Today]

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JESSICA SIMPSON My Boobs Are TOO BIG to Go Running [TMZ]

Jessica Simpson's boobs turn into lethal weapons when jogging [Examiner]

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Jessica Simpson on Post-Baby Body: Not Bouncing Back! [The Hollywood Gossip]

Jessica Simpson Talks Baby Weight: 'My Body Is Not Bouncing Back Like a Supermodel' [HuffPo]

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Jessica Simpson Talks Losing Pregnancy Pounds [CBS News]

Jessica Simpson and Weight Watchers targeting moms: Could be huge success [Examiner]

Nothing can break her focus! Jessica Simpson resists fast food as she continues her quest to lose baby weight [Daily Mail]

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Jessica Simpson tackles pregnancy pounds [Detroit Free Press]

Jessica Simpson reveals weight loss struggle after baby [Page Six]

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Jessica Simpson: "I'm 10 Pounds Away From My Pre-Baby Size" [Celebrity Baby Scoop]

JESSICA SIMPSON Look At How Much Weight I've Lost in 4 Months! [TMZ]

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Jessica Simpson "Exercising Six Hours a Day" Ahead of Post-Baby Body Debut? [Gossip Cop]

Jessica Simpson has only 10 more pounds to lose [Boston Herald]

Jessica Simpson Set To Show Off New Body On TV Next Week [Star Pulse]

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Slimmed-Down Jessica Simpson Jets to NYC for First Post-Baby Appearance [Us]

Jessica Simpson Is Rocking A Hobo Look So We Can't Tell How Much Weight She Has Or Hasn't Lost [Crushable]

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When Will Jessica Simpson Reveal Her New Post-Pregnancy Body After Being On Weight Watchers? [International Business Times]

JESSICA SIMPSON SHOWS OFF HER POST-BABY BODY AT THE AIRPORT [SFLuxe]

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Jessica Simpson Working Toward Weight Watchers Goal - Is She Failing? (Photos) [Celeb Dirty Laundry]

Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Reveal on 'Katie' Show [Christian Post]

Jessica Simpson Looking Much Slimmer [Radar Online]

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Worth the weight! Jessica Simpson continues to shed the pounds after signing multimillion dollar slimming contract [Daily Mail]

JESSICA SIMPSON I've Lost 40+ Pounds [TMZ]

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Jessica Simpson Tells Katie Couric She's Lost More Than 40 Pounds [ABC News]

JESSICA SIMPSON: I'VE LOST OVER 40 POUNDS! [The Insider]

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Jessica Simpson Reveals Post-Baby Body on Katie Couric's New Show [People]

Jessica Simpson Debuts Post-Baby Bod on Katie Couric's New Show [Us]