Public marriage proposals seem more like social hostage situations than romantic queries. "Will you marry me? Btw, if you say, ‘No,' all of these people will grind their teeth from the unrelenting awkwardness." With that in mind, try really hard not to squirm while you're watching RNC staffer Bradley Thompson pull his girlfriend Laura Bowman up onstage and ask for her hand in sensible, heteronormative marriage while a picture of the couple's dog and the words, "Will you marry me?" flash on the jumbo-screen behind him, because no public marriage proposal is sufficiently humiliating until a large village can gather in a circle and watch it.