While there are some couples who can pull off weddings that are undeniably enjoyable — Friends! Open bars! Dancing! — it's no secret that, more often than not, being a wedding guest is a total pain in the ass. The amount of money that you have to sink into someone else's nuptials, what with the cost of travel and a wedding gift, can be ridiculously huge — and now with the most recent trend in wedding photography, the smuggest of newlyweds are assaulting our eyes as well our wallets. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the horrifying world of morning-after photography.
Turns out that couples (well, the worst couples) have begun to hire photographers to document the posed/pseudo-sexy times that occur on the morning following the wedding. But why? So they can prove their love on Facebook, of course. Remember, it's not important that you experience true happiness and the intimacy of a moment so long as it looks like you're experiencing true happiness and the intimacy of the moment to other people. Your love is meaningless until it has at least 15 Facebook likes. And what about your memories of your earliest moments as a spouse? Fuhgeddaboudit. You have dumb posed photographs from a less-fun-than-you-thought-it-would-be photo shoot instead — photographs that will allow you to celebrate a fake memory and experience a false sense of nostalgia for years and years to come.
You know the old adage: "A picture's worth a thousand words/just make a fucking sex tape like normal people."