If there ever was a living being that was the embodiment of Susan Sontag's Notes on "Camp" it's Glitzy, the tiara-wearing, "gay" male pet pig that six-year-old Alana received as a consolation for losing a "natural" child beauty pageant. Unfortunately, though, Glitzy's reign as queen of our hearts ended when he was sent packing back to the breeder on last night's episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
After Glitzy kept the family up all night long with his incessant squealing, Mama realized that he needed more care than they could give him. It was interesting to see where Mama draws the line. Shitting on the kitchen table? She let that slide. (Pigs shit where they eat, after all. Or at least, where someone eats.) But interrupting her beauty sleep? That's untenable.
I know he's only been in our lives for the past two weeks, but I, for one, will miss Glitzy. Alana really seemed to love him. And I was genuinely looking forward to how they were going to work a pig into a beauty pageant routine.
A highlight from last's episode: "Kuntry Stoe."
After they said their goodbyes to Glitzy, the family went four-wheeling with their friends and threw a Christmas in July charity event, with Sugar Bear serving as Santa Claus in the middle of a heat wave, which led him to come up with one of the most graphic descriptions of body odor I've ever heard — you can practically smell his balls from here.
As it is with every episode, almost the entire show was subtitled due to the family's accents. It only makes screen caps all the more fun. For instance, why have a video clip of the mysterious sharp objects in Mama's bed when the story can be told in a few pictures?
Oh, and Chickadee started to maybe go into labor—six weeks early—which made for a cliffhanger. And while I appreciate that the family refers to vaginas as "biscuits," Chickadee actually didn't say "biscuit." Whatever she did say was bleeped out, but it sounded an awful lot like "coochie."
Which, based on an earlier conversation, leads me to believe it is another euphemism that the ladies use.
I'll end with your obligatory Mama moment.