Costco Customers Call for 'Americans Only' Hours

Residents of Bellingham, WA (the jewel of Whatcom County), have started a Facebook group protesting the hordes of dirty, filthy foreigners clogging up their local Costco and taking all the parking spots. They want Costco to institute certain hours when only American-born members are allowed to impulse-purchase pallets of baby corns and discount fruit dehydrators. But...it's not the kind of crazy xenophobia you're used to. These outraged Americans are sick and tired of Canadians riding their mooses across the border and taking all the jobs frozen pot stickers. O Canada, how could you!?

The best part about this righteous social movement is its title: "Bellingham Costco needs a special time just for Americans." (They need a special time!!!!! Just them and the Costco! Like when your dog gets jealous of the new baby.) Here's their stance:

You all been there. The main stay of this town "guide meridian" is LA freeway at rush hour. Its hard to find a parking spot. The lines are crazy. The overcrowding is causing some to be rude. We just want to go shopping like everyone else, not go on an adventure.

Canada has its own Costcos, but residents sometimes cross the border in search of cheaper milk and gas ("It's milk madness!!!!!" wrote one commenter). And here's a little intellectual point-counterpoint from the movement's Facebook wall:

What do you think about our tax money subsidizing dairy farmers to produce milk at a fair price for the American public? Now your watching your hard earned money go to canada so they can purchase the milk at half price!

Canadians dump millions into your broken economy and your bitching? Distgusting.

Yes. Distgusting indeed. I mean, look, people of Bellingham. This is an unwinnable fight that's making you look like shit-heads. Everyone who's ever been in a Costco knows that going to Costco sucks ass regardless of how many Canadians are in there. And anyway, while it's annoying to have to waste half your day hangin' in the milk-line, I have a feeling Canada is equally irritated by mobs of your sweaty, drunken 19-year-olds infesting its bars every night. So maybe we can just call bygones and stop setting creepy precedents that deny foreigners access to basic amenities? JUST A THOUGHT.

Local Costco shoppers want ‘American only' hours [SeattlePI]