Rashida Jones is sick and tired of all the masseurs and all the naked touchings and all the ballyhoo, goddamnit. It's about time for a major movie star to come out of the closet—for the children, you know! The children need you, Hollywood gays!—and it might as well be John Travolta. Allegedly. You know, if he wants. ALLEGEDLY. In an interview, Jones discussed the current state of gayness with friend Will McCormack:
McCormack: There needs to be, like, a professional athlete that comes out.
Jones: And a movie star! It's time.
McCormack: Yeah, like a big one.
Jones: A movie star. Like John Travolta? Come out! Come on. How many masseurs have to come forward? Let's do this.
Allegedly and stuff, but SERIOUSLY, THOUGH. [SpinningPlatters]
Lady Gaga is on the outs with PETA after appearing in a hot pink fur coat and hat (it's so stinking hot here I can hardly even type those words). Apparently Gaga forgot that she used to be stridently anti-fur, so PETA reminded her about it as only PETA can—by making basic sense and then barreling slightly overboard:
Many of your gay fans, I among them, have long admired what you told Ellen: 'I hate fur, and I don't wear fur,'...I included a link because these recent photos of you in fox and rabbit and with a wolf carcass make it appear that you have amnesia. I'm also including this brief video hosted by Tim Gunn showing the violent cruelty that you promote when you wear fur...What happened? Are your stylists telling you that it's fake, or are you a turncoat?...Many gays are animal advocates because we recognize that the same arrogance and indifference that some have toward animal suffering has at times been directed toward us personally because of our orientation.
'KAY, PETA. [Radar]
Human ipecac Mel Gibson doesn't understand why everybody's so mad at him and it's NOT FAIR because he didn't even do nothin', you guys!!!
They [Hollywood] have to forget. I don't even think they're vindictive. I don't think they think there's reason to forgive...And forgive what to begin with? What are they asking for? It's almost like can you please forgive me for what? What did I do, really? It is kind of ridiculous...So it's kind of hard to pinpoint exactly what needs to be forgiven and I don't consider that anything does because I didn't hurt anyone. But you know, hey that's life. It ain't easy and it's not fair. You've just got to slip the old water off the back and move on.
Did you know that Justin Theroux is related to Paul Theroux and Louis Theroux and a whole bunch of other famous Therouxes of whom I was not previously aware but am now?
His family tree is lousy with writer-types. His uncle is Paul Theroux, the novelist, travel writer, and New Yorker contributor. Paul's sons - Justin's cousins - are the British documentarian Louis Theroux and novelist Marcel Theroux. Uncles Peter and Alexander are a translator and a poet, respectively. His father, corporate lawyer Eugene Theroux, evidently didn't get the literary bug, but Justin's mother, Phyllis Theroux, is an essayist with bylines in the New York Times and Washington Post, including this one about the time young Justin took two girls to the eighth-grade dance.
I like this. I find Justin Theroux to be terrifically likeable. [TheCut]
- This behind-the-scenes account of Tom Arnold and Roseanne Barr's impromptu reunion (after 18 years of angry silence) tugged all kinds of my heartstrings. [Hollyscoop]
- Taylor Swift bought a $5 million Cape Cod mansion down the street from the Kennedy compound, so she and new boyfriend Conor Kennedy can talk all night using two tin cans and a string. This is probably why we shouldn't let the children have a billion doughlarz. [DailyMail]
- VH1 has pulled Chad Ochocinco's reality show (which is all filmed and edited and ready to go) following his arrest on domestic violence charges. "Due to the unfortunate events over the weekend and the seriousness of the allegations, VH1 is pulling the series Ev & Ocho from its schedule and has no current plans of airing it," said the network. The aborted series is apparently all about Chad and Evelyn's flawless and eternal holy soft-focus journey of love. Blergh. [Radar]
- Kristin Chenoweth is leaving The Good Wife due to her on-set head injury. [Yahoo!]
- Christina Aguilera doesn't know what it is that Britney Spears does, exactly, but she knows it's "great": "I welcome her to this family of fun and entertainment and finding new talent. I don't know what she's going to offer specifically, but I know she's a pro and she's going to give, I think, great advice." [Us]
- Ang Lee's adaptation of Life of Pi (starring Tobey Maguire, Gerard Depardieu, and Irrfan Khan) will open the New York Film Festival in September. Personally, I did not enjoy that precious, empty book one bit. [DigitalSpy]
- Here's Josh Hutcherson playing adorable charity kickball (I know he's holding a football, but just go with it—I don't make the news) for the LGBT youths! [Crushable]
- Oh, cool! All my least favorite words in one sentence! "Honey Boo Boo's Mom Says Extreme Couponing is ‘Better Than Sex.'" [Extra]
- Oh, cool! All my most potently nap-inducing words in one sentence! "Sean Hayes will be appearing on Smash next season." [EW]
- Everyone continues to not shut up about Malfoy Cyrus's new haircut, which makes sense because it is totally important and interesting. [People]
- Miley Cyrus' neuer Kurzhaarschnitt - eine gelungene Typveränderung?!!!?? I'M ON PINZ UND NEEDLEZ! [German-E! Won't Stay Out of My Feed]
- Kenny G is back on the market. Ladies. [TMZ]