Congratulations! You've made it past the words "Vaginal Tightening" without passing out. That or you have passed out, revived yourself and are carrying on regardless. Either way, you have demonstrated great bravery and are an asset to your house. Ten points to Gryffindor!
Anyway, I'm glad you came through because it's time we have another talk about your loose and drooping vagina. "Again," you ask? Yes, again. This is one of those conversations that we will continue to have until every woman's vag is as tight and narrow as a well-stitched button hole. Sure, you could continue to keep your nether holes in shape the old fashioned way (through kegels and vagina weights) or you could not worry about it at all, but why bother when there's shame to be felt and money to be spent?
Enter '18 Again,' the new vaginal rejuvenation and tightening gel currently being marketed to the lucky ladies of India. The gel, which claims to be "redefining the term 'women empowerment,'"promises to make users once again "feel like a virgin." Yay?
Jesus, India — couple this with your vaginal whitening cream and you're really starting to give us a run for our pussy-shaming money. Time to step up our game, America. Did you really think we could coast on Vajazzling forever?