Marilyn Manson’s Paparazzi-Thwarting Plan Was Probably Way Better in TheoryS

Ever have what you think is a really good idea when you're sitting around talking to your friends about your ideas? "Mayhap," you say, pouring yourself another snifter of brandy, "I'll write version of Macbeth that takes place in corporate America. Or I'll get my scuba certification and scour the Caribbean for sunken Spanish galleons. Or I'll scrawl ‘fuck you' on my face so that, when I walk through the airport, the paparazzi's pictures of me will be rendered useless. Useless, I say!"

That's what Marilyn Manson must have said to his friends before actually appearing at LAX with ‘fuck you' written sloppily over his face in a bid to thwart paparazzi from publishing any pictures of him. Of course, the gambit merely attracted a whole lot of attention Manson might not have otherwise received, and it also forced him to apologize to pretty much everyone else in the airport — TSA agents, parents with small children, and calligraphers. Maybe if the words had been a little clearer, his plan wouldn't have looked hasty and half-baked, but, as it was, Manson ended up looking like someone who'd fallen asleep with his shoes on at a party and been summarily drawn upon by someone more concerned with stealth than penmanship. [THR]

  • Chad Johnson, the NFL wide receiver formerly known by the Spanish malapropism Chad Ochocinco, has been arrested for allegedly headbutting his wife, former Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada. The couple reportedly had a heated argument after Lozada found a receipt for condoms in Johnson's Maserati. Johnson says he headbutted Lozada by accident, and since there are no bond judges scheduled to work Sunday in the Davie, Florida area, Johnson could very well spend the rest of his weekend in jail. [TMZ]
  • SNL producer Lorne Michaels has decided to pass on producing the 2013 Academy Awards show over disagreements with Disney CEO Robert Iger about things like Jimmy Fallon hosting. Also, 13 is a really unlucky number and Michaels doesn't want to be responsible for putting the Jason Voorhees sizzle reel together in order to appease the machete-wielding movie villain. [THR]
  • DJ Khaled apparently missed a few rent payments and consequently owes his Miami landlord $55,000, meaning that, if you want a live-in DJ to ensure that you throw the best parties, now would be a good time to contact DJ Khaled. [TMZ]
  • Flavor Flav didn't pay his taxes for a while and now owes about $1 million to the IRS. [TMZ]
  • Maybe if he'd listened to Pauly D's financial advice and bought gold, though, Flav wouldn't be so bad off as he is now — he'd be worse off because buying gold is for suckers. [TMZ]
  • A judge has banned a businessman named Howard Mann from selling Michael Jackson memorabilia online because the Jackson estate holds copyright on MJ's name, which Mann was apparently using for multiple domain names in order to sell MJ-related products. [BBC]
  • Conrad Murray is upset that someone posing as the mother of two of Michael Jackson's children was allowed to visit him in prison. [TMZ]
  • Ryan Lochte's mom says that actually her son is too busy to date OR have one-night stands — he just swims all the time and brainstorms new catch phrases. [NYDN]
  • All of France thinks that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are going to get married this week, but all of France also thought that the Maginot Line would keep the Germans out of Paris, so... [Mirror]
  • 50 Cent decided to be a charming gentleman and say, in reference to tKanye West pairing himself off pairing Kim Kardashian, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." [Radar]
  • Megan Fox thinks she and Brian Austin Green were "destined" for each other, like in a cosmic soul mates kind of way. [Contact]
  • Russell Brand, who was able to kick his own drug habit, wishes he'd done more to help Amy Winehouse get clean. [The Sun]
  • Duane Chapman, better known to evil-doers everywhere as Dog the Bounty Hunter, was recently denied a visa to the U.K. because of his involvement in the 1976 murder of a Texas drug dealer. [Guardian]
  • Jason Segel and Michelle Williams grabbed smoothies and drank them, if you know what I mean (I mean they purchase smoothies and then imbibed said smoothies, probably with reckless abandon until brain freeze set it). [HIMYM]