Here’s the latest sordid entry in the Great Breakup of 2012 — Kristen Stewart has reportedly been staying at the house of producer/friend Giovanni Agnelli. Ensconced in Agnelli’s Sunset Plaza home, Stewart has been “crying her eyes out non-stop” because everyone’s being sort of shitty to her. Details about K-Stew’s unravelling more or less mirror what would happen to the lead in a romantic comedy after the One True Love found out a Horrible Secret and temporarily departed — she’s crying, wandering around in her pajamas, and eating ice cream, because ice cream is the only substance that will mend a broken heart.
Robert Pattinson isn’t happy about this latest living arrangement because, even though it seems like it’s none of his business anymore, he suspects that Agnelli and Stewart might be, you know, doing it. He’d much prefer that Kristen Stewart remove herself to a remote tower, where she can grow out her hair to climbing length and wait chastely for Pattinson to decide that he would like to be her boyfriend again, please. [Radar, Radar]
- Rupert Sanders and Liberty Ross haven’t reconciled yet and might not have even seen each other since Sanders revealed that he’d cavorted with Kristen Stewart. [People]
- Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied have saved their immortal souls from armies of tiny demons sporting comically oversized pitchforks by exchanging marital vows in a small, Jewish ceremony on Saturday. [Us]
- Someone who’s really upset about Ellen Page dating Alexander Skarsgard has threatened the actress via Twitter with messages such as this little charmer: “Ellen Page if you continue to date Alexander [Skarsgard] I will K-1-L-L you in public in the next year … Be it in a club, at a game, in a restaurant, or when you’re signing autographs.” Understandably freaked, Page has contacted the LAPD for help. [TMZ]
- For yet more evidence that social media is rapidly corroding the very fabric of our fragile existence (we’re floating on a rock in the middle of space, people — think about it), a woman named Selena Gomez has been unjustly banned from Facebook for impersonating Selena Gomez. [TMZ]
- Gabby Douglas‘ mom, Natalie Hawkins, just filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy, but her daughter’s endorsements will soon resolve this issue. [TMZ]
- Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are both going to a place where washed-up celebrities go to reassure themselves of continued relevance: the Scary Movie franchise. [Screen Crush]
- John Travolta says he most certainly did not sexually assault a cruise ship worker back in 2009. [TMZ]
- Nick Jonas is being considered for a seat on the judges’ panel on American Idol, so he’s going to be really upset when darkhorse candidate Vitamin C comes out of nowhere to become the best Idol judge ever. [OTRC]
- Clint Eastwood has used his gravelly voice to tersely endorse Mitt Romney. [AP]
- Kick Kennedy says that younger bro Conor Kennedy is getting along famously with Taylor Swift. [NYDN]