Sometime between Will & Grace and Glee, America collectively decided it would stop being grossed out by same sex marriage. But that memo didn't reach everyone, especially the crazy old assholes who own a Bed & Breakfast called Camp Whitebriar in New Jersey. After a lesbian mom took to Facebook to voice her dismay over a pro-Chick-fil-A, anti-gay sign outside of its doors, the proprietor of the inn responded with a long winded, barely coherent screed about how lesbians are just jealous of her hotass straight marriage, gays are ruining The Children, AIDS is awesome because that means that she doesn't have to serve queers. Bonus: the letter "overused" quotation marks "so" much that it "almost" hurts to "read it." ALSO THERE ARE ALL CAPS TO DENOTE EMPHATIC, CRAZED SHOUTING. It's a little treasure of haterade.
The sign that prompted the original complaint was one of those cheap looking yellow light up deals with the interchangeable letters that Camp Whitebriar's owners had customized to say "CHICK FIL A APPRECIATION DAY AUG 1 WEDNESDAY MARRIAGE ONE MAN ONE WOMAN ONE GOD." Fellow Jerseyan, lesbian, and mom Joanne Fraschilla got an ooky feeling from the sign and wrote the following totally respectful but firm complaint on Camp Whitebriar's Facebook page:
This is somewhere my son loves to pass by and we have been excited to visit. Not anymore. I'm sad to see a local business anti LGBT marriage.
In response, she received this note:
Isn't it wonderful Joanne Fraschilla, that you and your son can enjoy the animals here because I have a traditional marriage with a husband who works with me 90 hours a week to take care of these animals, and the summer camp....we're 66-68 years old....there were no gays or queers in our time.....if two old ladies chose to live together..so be it, let them deal with God when they get there...but to have the "face sucking" thrown in my face of two gay lesbians who are totally destroying the "normal balance in a child's life" as you claim your son...where is the role model that your son needs to know how to act like a man? or will he only see the "one sided selfishness" of a "single parent"...and end up an out cast in society by being "gay" himself because he didn't have a father as a role model. I'll pray for you....remember what the bible says: "Lay down with dogs, get up with fleas".....guess that's why God invented aids.... THIS LOCAL BUSINESS WILL BE ONE MAN ONE WOMAN ONE GOD MAKES MARRIAGE....AND PROUD TO DO SO....YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY TO OWN YOUR OWN BUSINESS
Ostensibly, that idiot opus was penned by Carole Lokan-Moore, proprietor of the place and, from the sound of it, New Jersey's angriest and most reality-challenged closeted lesbian. The letter is filled with sparkling fact-free gems — Really? There were no gays or queers back in the olden days? Gay parents make kids into gay adults? And it doesn't say "Lay down with the dogs, get up with the fleas" anywhere in the Bible; that's a very dumbed down version of a quote from Benjamin Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanack — but I suppose facts have no place among homophobic Chick-fil-A supporters who believe that eating trans fat-filled chicken one sweltering day in August will somehow stop the march of social progress. Anyway! As many things in the LGBT world do, this story Gets Better.
According to Joe My God, Lokan-Moore isn't just a B&B owner — she's also a failed politician who only received 416 votes in the GOP primary when she ran for New Jersey State Senate last year. Her campaign's motto? "Good Old Fashion Common Sense." She's also a member of the NRA, the Daughters of the Confederacy, and, confusingly, a high ranking Girl Scout. Basically the human version of a comment on Fox Nation. Here's part of her platform:
N. J. needs legislators who will "think outside of the box" to get control of spending. NJ needs legislators who will not "spend tax payers money on private interest groups like Planned Parenthood" Our Governor Vetoed Diane Allen's Bill to waste 7 million of tax payers money, but she attached it, to another bill, and it passed. As a Christian, I do not want my tax money payed to the Largest Abortion Clinic in the Country. It is time for the "Career politician to go back home". It is time to shrink our Government spending by half. It is time to let "new Ideas" spring forth to stimulate this economy. Let's cut the Regulation and make N.J. ‘ready for Business" & welcome back the entrepreneurship of tomorrow.
Ten bucks she's a birther! Any takers?
Fraschilla has since started a petition to get Lokan-Moore to apologize, but I say we let Carole Lokan-Moore continue to be an unapologetic bigot, loudly and in the open. We've only got a short window of time left before these people begin to understand how the internet works and stop writing idiotic things on Facebook for the world to ridicule. Don't apologize, Lokan-Moore! Keep up with the "unnecessary" quotation marks AND SHOUTING and use of the word "queers" like it's still something that hasn't been all but completely reclaimed.
Besides, sans apology, Fraschilla has an excuse to focus her attention on that easy-to-playfully-vandalize sign in front of Camp Whitebriar. With a few letters left over, she could have made the sign spell "A HYPOCRITICAL DICK" and taken hilarious pictures next to it giving the thumbs up symbol. That would have at least made the front page of Reddit.