Coverage of Mitt Romney's hilariously bumbling world tour has been better than coverage of the Olympics, and with even more heartbreak, tears, and disastrous dismounts — that's what makes good television. During today's stop at Poland's Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Romney's traveling press secretary responded to questions from the press by lashing out with a reminder that they were at a Polish holy place, followed by a suggestion that reporters kiss his ass.
For those of you keeping score at home, here's the Romney Worldwide Gaffe Tour Medal Count:
- before he even left US soil, an anonymous Romney aide told a British paper,
We are part of an Anglo-Saxon heritage, and [Romney] feels that the special relationship is special. The White House didn't fully appreciate the shared history we have.
Woo! White pride!
- within 24 hours of landing in the UK and right before the Olympics, Romney called London's preparation for the Games "disconcerting," which led to public jabs from the mayor of London, Prime Minister David Cameron, and many, many very mean headlines from the British press, including the nickname "Nowhere Man" because Mitt Romney's Salt Lake City Olympics were a fraction of the size of the Summer Games, and held far from a major city like London (in the words of Cameron, it's easier to plan a Games in "the middle of nowhere." Yowch.)
- Romney told an Israeli audience that Jews are more successful than Palestinians because, culturally, Jews are better at making money;
- the campaign had to backtrack after one aide said that Romney would support an Israeli strike on Iran, provided it was made to prevent Iran's development of a nuclear weapon;
- gave a few one-on-one interviews, but only allowed the rest of the press corps to ask him a grand total of three questions during his entire trip.
But even though the naked emperor is working as hard as he can to keep the press from finding out that he has no clothes (or foreign policy chops), his campaign has stepped in to fill the gaffe gap. Today, while stopping in Warsaw at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, members of the frustrated press corps fired questions at Romney staffer Rick Gorka, asking about all the dumb crap the presumptive GOP nominee had said over the last several days. In response, Gorka thoughtfully told reporters to "shove it," before adding,
Kiss my ass. This is a holy site for the Polish people. Show some respect.
Yeah, motherfuckers. Show some cocklicking respect for these hellassdamn dead soldiers.
Gorka later apologized, but the damage has been done — after that series of poorly chosen declarations, it looks like MittBot 2012 needs a tune up. Or a distractingly interesting Vice Presidential nominee.