Zack Morris Gets Married Again to Some Woman Who’s Still Not Kelly Kapowski

Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who will most likely remain best-known for his fine work on the post-modern high school comedy Saved By the Bell, as well as for that time in Weeds when he had really nasty Showtime sex with Mary-Louise Parker, married a woman who wasn't named Kelly Kapowski at a winery in California. Gosselaar proposed to advertising exec. Catriona McGinn one year ago, a mere three months after divorcing Lisa Ann Russell, and apparently played a significant role in planning the wedding because that's the sort of thing you'd expect from Zack Morris. Always scheming, that one. [People, E!]

  • Jimmy Kimmel suggested that maybe Adam Carolla didn't mean it when he said that women aren't as funny as men. Said Kimmel, "I think Adam says a lot of things he doesn't mean." So you see? It was all a big misunderstanding and we just shouldn't listen to Adam Carolla anymore. [Black Book, The Wrap]
  • A U-Haul was spotted outside of the crumbling love palace Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson built together. [TMZ]
  • According to Leopold Ross, Liberty Ross' brother, Rupert Sanders and Kristen Stewart had been carrying on for months and, as a result, Leopold will be making a knuckle sandwich just for his brother-in-law. [Daily Mail]
  • Paul Raef, the guy who car-chased Justin Bieber, received a restraining order in 2010 for extreme paparazzing, i.e. punching another paparazzo in the face, while trying to get a picture of Heidi Klum. [TMZ]
  • Parisians got angry at Madonna the other night not because her concert was bad, but because she was wantonly using a swastika at an earlier concert and the French people have a particular sensitivity to swastikas because of something that happened to their country a few decades ago. [TMZ]
  • Now you can bid for a chance to sit at the same booth in Vitello's Restaurant that Robert Blake sat at just before his wife was shot outside. Three cheers for capitalism! [TMZ]
  • Norway has told Snoop Dogg that he can't play in the fjords for two whole years. [E!]
  • Jason Bateman tweeted a picture of his pretend son arriving in his pretend home. [Twitter]
  • Blake Shelton tweeted about fake running over a turtle accidentally/on purpose and NPR blogger Barbara King got extremely circle of lifey on him. [Buzzfeed]
  • Boxer David Hayne really admires the way Tom Hardy bulked up for The Dark Knight Rises (no homo) and would like to fight the actor in his underpants. [The Sun]
  • Paris Hilton's younger brother Conrad got caught with some pot and had to spend the weekend in the pokey, which is old-timey slang for jail. [TMZ]
  • According to Mischa Barton, paparazzi can go to extreme lengths for weird pictures: "Thanks a lot to the photographer who decided to let the air out odour tires and watch us pump them back up." [Twitter]
  • O.J. Simpson won't be giving Oprah an interview, so everyone quit not asking O.J. about it. [NYDN]
  • Producers are having trouble finding someone to play with Kelly Ripa in her morning show sandbox. [NYDN]