With every Olympic Games, the skimpy uniforms worn by the Women's Beach Volleyball teams grab attention. According to the Huffington Post, there was a press conference on Wednesday, and player Phil Dalhausser discussed the fact that the ladies wear teeny two-pieces while the men wear tops and shorts. "I'm OK with this. They're way prettier than us," he said. Todd Rogers, a medalist in 2008, agreed:
"It just doesn't look as beautiful. The reality is men are driven more by their vision and women are not, so I just don't think it would help. I've practiced in Brazil where the Brazilians are wearing Speedos and it just doesn't look good. To see a guy's package is just not the same."
Dude. First of all, It is the same. We've been conditioned to think it is not the same, but it is. You wanna see ladyparts? You should see man parts too. Second of all, let's forget about the package. Let's just focus on the fact that while the women are diving into the sand with exposed bellies, you guys are wearing shirts. What the fuck. Take your shirts off. TAKE YOUR SHIRTS OFF. Some Olympians agree:
April Ross, competing for the women, told press, "We argue for [the men to go sans shirts] all the time... Men have such amazing bodies, too. They shouldn't be wearing tank tops. Give them shorts and make them go without a shirt."
Exactly. Let's see your abs.
And you don't have to wear a tiny Speedo to make the uniform better. Ditch those loose knee-length shorts, for crying out loud. What about some square-cut trunks? If they're good enough for Elvis, Alain Delon and James Bond, they're good enough for the Olympics.
Another option: Low-cut trunks like the ones worn by the swim team in ridiculous warlock movie The Covenant. (Why yes, that is Tim Riggins/Taylor Kitsch third from the left.)
The point is: If the ladies are going to get objectified, so should the men. Show us some pecs and abs, get sand in your belly button. If the ladies can do it, so can you. Plus, I will be more likely to watch you play. And if you feel like I'm just watching to check out your body, well, now you know how the women's team feels.