Muppets and Homophobes Locked in Fierce Battle Over Chick-fil-A

Last week, Chick-fil-A's CEO confirmed what liberal fun-ruiners already knew — the restaurant not only serves up delicious waffle fries, but also some good old fashioned from-scratch bigoted homophobia. Like Mom used to make! The CEO's admission further ignited the already red and itchy culture wars that divide the America that doesn't want their hard earned fast food money supporting a business that actively dislikes the gays, and the America that would be more likely to fill their arteries with fried foods in order to prove a point that consarn it, they are taking a heart attack for the team — Team Anti-Gay (on the sidelines, vacantly chewing, is the America that doesn't care because Chick-fil-A is delicious and deliciousness trumps all). The latest entities to weigh in? The National Organization for Marriage and the Muppets.

First, the Muppets. On Friday, the following announcement appeared on their Facebook page,

The Jim Henson Company has celebrated and embraced diversity and inclusiveness for over fifty years and we have notified Chick-Fil-A that we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors. Lisa Henson, our CEO is personally a strong supporter of gay marriage and has directed us to donate the payment we received from Chick-Fil-A to GLAAD. (http://www.glaad.org/)

Payment from Chick-fil-A to GLAAD? Burn, Kermit. Of course the Jim Henson Company is in favor of the right for same sex couples to get married. The Muppets have been skeptical of traditional marriage from jump — Pig/Frog marriages, Gonzo's relationship with Camilla, his nonverbal chicken, and the countless human/puppet crushes that have developed over the years are a testament to that. Good on them for standing up for their principles. It's not easy refusing green.

And then, on the other side, we've got the folks who want to Chick-fil-A the gay away — huggable homophobe Mike Huckabee and the National Organization for marriage. Last week, Huckabee called for all self-respecting people who agree with Chick-fil-A's CEO to show their support by dining at a Chick-fil-A this Wednesday. And this weekend, NOM posted a letter urging its supporters to follow suit:

Dear Marriage Supporter,

Thanks to your recent efforts at DumpStarbucks.com and DumpGeneralMills.com, we've shown the cultural elite, the gay millionaires who fund anti-marriage initiatives, and the biased media that the defenders of marriage are willing to put our money where our mouth is.

Well, this Wednesday, we have a chance to do it again-and this time even more literally-by coming out in support of National Eat at Chick-fil-A Day.

Imagine if folks all across the country united together in support of heroes like Dan and Truett Cathy that stand for strengthening marriage and family!

Imagine the potential impact of the message that companies favoring the radical redefinition of marriage risk fallout with their customers-combined with the message that heroes who stand for marriage and family cannot be silenced!

Imagine how clearly that message would be heard across the nation if Chick-fil-A reported record sales this Wednesday!

Well, let's not just imagine it-let's make it happen.

The organization's Facebook subscribers, most of whom I suspect follow NOM for the laughs, guffawed at the announcement. Gay millionaires? Why isn't this an indie buzzband yet? Further, couching Chick-fil-A as an organization that just wants everyone to have picnics and celebrations that can later be used for stock photos and be happy is disingenuous — they've given millions of dollars to Focus on the Family, a group that lobbies to limit the rights of gay people and has even said that anti-bullying efforts are a gay front designed to protect sissies from the righteous fists of Christ.

But others were totally on board with the NOM/Huckabee Sit In Booth Feeding Your Children Shit That Will Kill Them In Order to Make a Point Day. One person wrote, "My household will be at Chick-fil-a on Wednesday; and whenever called upon to do so." Said another, "Make that Chick-fil-A. There isn't one near me, but I may seek one out just to show Mayor of Boston that he does not have dictatorial powers."

But finally, among all the infighting, a single voice of reason:

Come on people, this is America. NOM has the right to stand for what they believe just as you and I do. If they choose to support a company for standing up for what they believe, or boycott others for not, it's their purgative.

So, this Wednesday, eat at Chick-fil-A and give your money to a business run by backwards hatemongers OR eat something that isn't terrible for your heart or your soul. It's your "purgative!"