And the Baby Inside of Snooki Shall Hereby Be Known As…

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Lorenzo! Well. That was anticlimactic, wasn’t it? I mean, Lorenzo is pretty good. I would have laughed harder if it was, like, “Gabagool” or “Abbondanza,” or “Luigi Mario” or “Bowser,” but Lorenzo is actually pretty cute for a little baybay. The name beat out Snooki‘s second choice, Jionni Jr. and was apparently spilled by the Jersey Shore cast in an interview with USA Today today. Lorenzo is due to arrive in September. [E!]


Brendan Fraser is being sued for allegedly drunk-attacking a producer on his upcoming film, The Legend of William Tell. “In his suit, Moyer claims he was hanging out at the Hilton Hotel in Indianapolis on July 27, 2011 … when an ‘intoxicated’ Brendan Fraser began to ‘physically push, verbally threaten and poke [Moyer] in the chest repeatedly.’ Moyer doesn’t specify what led to the alleged attack.” Fraser then allegedly attacked the dude AGAIN six months later, “striking Moyer in the chest at least 20 times.” This isn’t the only lawsuit at play in Fraser’s life—he’s also suing the same producer for “bungling” the William Tell film, while Brendan Fraser’s career is suing Monkeybone for ruining everything in the 1st degree. [TMZ]


The stars of Twilight gathered at Comic-Con and said a bunch of stuff about Twilight reboots that I don’t understand because they are totally definitely not high as fuck. “I pity the person who takes over my part,” said Robert Pattinson. “I would make a campaign against them!” Then Kristen Stewart added: “What’s great about this film…is because you just have a faith it’s done. You’re like, ‘Aw great. They can have it now.’…Please leave them alone! They’ve figured it out, leave them. And I think that by the end of the movie it’s so abundantly satisfying and sweet and ideal. It just feels good. Steph, no.” THAT IS LITERALLY THE QUOTE. [E!]


Speaking of celebrities whose brains have apparently been removed and replaced by Google Translate, Steven Tyler announced his decision to leave American Idol, saying: “After some long…hard…thoughts…I’ve decided it’s time for me to let go of my mistress American Idol before she boils my rabbit…I strayed from my first love, Aerosmith, and I’m back-but instead of begging on my hands and knees, I’ve got two fists in the air and I’m kicking the door open with my band.” [E!]


  • Cloonz and Kiebz scooted around Switzerland being better than us. [People]
  • Apparently “Halle Berry can pull off any style.” [Express]
  • Jessica Alba went swimming. IN A BATHING SUIT!!!!! [Us]
  • So did Elle Macpherson—and she even had the audacity to “sizzle”! [News.au]
  • J. Lo speaks out about the Tomkat divorce: “I’m sad for them. They’re both really lovely people, and just like Marc and I, it’s not what you want to happen. You fight and you try until you realize you can’t anymore,” she said. “Nobody wins.” [Radar]
  • Here’s the trailer for Sam Raimi‘s The Great and Powerful Oz, featuring James Franco as the wizard and Michelle Williams as the Glinda. Squee. [Vulture]
  • Grant Show—aka Jake from Melrose Place DUUUUUHHHH—is engaged! To a time-traveling hologram of me in 8th grade! No, wait, scratch that—it’s to some lady. [E!]
  • Lindsay Price—aka Steve’s whatsername girlfriend on 90210 DUUUUUHHHH—is engaged! To hot chef Curtis Stone! I approve! Send me some tacos! [E!]
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