Obviously, we are all reading and loving R. Kelly's new autobiography Soulacoaster. (I can't wait to finish so that I can store it between my other favorite memoirs The Gastronomical Me and The Autobiography of Malcolm X.) There is however, one thing missing from this literary tour de force and that's a narration by classically trained actor and expert annunciator Gary Oldman. What? Jimmy Kimmel has taken care of it? Great. Now the book is flawless.