When I was a teenager, the idea of "online dating" was still completely new and insurmountably alien—if someone told you they met their boyfriend "on the internet," it was an occasion to limber up for some epic side-eye. But over a miraculously short period of time, online dating has shed pretty much 100% of its stigma and is busy facilitating tru lurv all over the goddamn place. Hooray for all that! But like any mainstream social institution, online dating is prone to the same old-timey gender-conformity pitfalls that us thinkin' womens have been dodging for a dillion years. And nowhere are the old familiar disparities as clear as in each website's "advice" section. How do you snag the perfect bang-partner or sister-wife or personal pizza or whatever it is you're looking for? Be a boring stereotype of your gender, apparently.
After my foray into the jungle of eHarmony dating advice last week, I got to wondering exactly how America's online dating gurus treat their female customers versus the menz. So I poked around in a couple of popular dating sites (there's now a goodprsonality69 registered at eHarmony, match.com, and Christian Mingle if you guys want to honk my internet boob or whatever) and found some interesting bits of gender-specific wisdom.