Comment of the Day: Wherein Bristol Palin Gets Served

There has been a break in the case of Bristol Palin v. the Massey Brothers, thanks to the intrepid Megatronic:

YOU GUYS!!! I was able to dig up a copy of the complaint against Bristol Palin online! Here it is!!!

IN AND FOR THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF WASILLA

KYLE MASSEY and CHRISTOPHER MASSEY,
Plaintiffs,

v.

BRISTOL PALIN,
Defendant.

COMPLAINT

PLAINTIFFS, Kyle and Christopher Massey, by and through their undersigned attorney, TANYA BAXTER, ESQ., hereby bring this lawsuit alleging personal injury, intentional infliction of emotional distress, breach of contract and total suckitude, wherein Plaintiffs state that the DEFENDANT, Ms. Bristol Palin, has negligently, willfully, intentionally and/or in contravention of Federal law, failed to conduct herself in a Ravenlike manner, resulting in severe emotional harm and financial loss to the Plaintiffs. In support Plaintiffs state:

1. DEFENDANT, Bristol Palin, is totally acting like a jerk and a d-bag, and is being super mean to Plaintiffs, which Plaintiffs allege totally sucks and hurts their feelings. Plaintiffs remind Defendant that these actions are NOT AT ALL RAVEN.

2. DEFENDANT, Bristol Palin, was supPOSED to include Plaintiffs in her reality show, which would have been an almighty success, we're sure, and would have earned Plaintiffs ALL THE MONEY, and this was total BS and NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT RAVEN.

3. DEFENDANT, Bristol Palin, has a mean face and makes Plaintiffs so very sad, so very, very sad, and she is a jerkface and a bully who has conducted herself in a manner that is clearly and unambiguously NOT REMOTELY RAVEN, contrary to the provisions of 867 U.S.C. § 5309 ("The Raven-Symoné Act").

4. WHEREFORE, Plaintiffs demand:

Money damages in the amount of ALL THE MONEY;

A permanent injunction against Defendant, requiring that she conduct herself henceforth in accordance with the provisions of 867 U.S.C. § 5309 ("The Raven-Symoné Act").

JURY TRIAL DEMANDED

June 20, 2012

Tanya Baxter, Esq.

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