Madonna's Nipple Was Actually Protesting Proposed Turkish Abortion BanS

When Madonna accidentally (maybe on purpose) flashed her nipple at the crowd during an Istanbul concert, the world asked Why? Now, it appears, we have answers: Madge's slip was designed to show solidarity with Turkish women as the country's government mulls a very restrictive abortion and C-section ban. Oh, ok. Yeah, airing the areola makes much more sense now.

The theory isn't from the mouth of the Queen of Pop; it's from some fans of hers on Twitter, who will apparently perform feats of amazing mental gymnastics in order to rationalize Madonna's move as something bigger than just another virtuoso PR manipulation done for attention. Meanwhile, detractors reacted to the stunt stereotypically, making terribly original, fresh jokes about how Madonna is old and old people are gross (real talk, though — the only thing older than a 50 year old pop star is jokes about how women who are over 50 can't possibly be sexy or appealing).

In Madonna's defense, if she did actually intend for her discomboobulation to draw attention to Turkey, she succeeded for about 30 seconds, and if showing off one's body is an effective way to effect political change, I have some other suggested protests for Madonna, or any other pop star who cares about being famous and other, more serious shit.

  • accidental crotch shot as she exits a limo in the name of supporting the people of Syria.
  • red carpet dress that photographs sort of translucent in support of teachers' unions.
  • pants that split down the middle during a concert to support access to emergency contraception on American Indian reservations.
  • visible vajazzling for wrongfully imprisoned inmates.
  • deliberate release of grainy old sex tape against voter suppression.

    [IBTimes]