X Factor Judges Mutiny in Kansas City When a Contestant Turns His Back on Them

That whole rule about not turning your back on royalty also applies to dimming pop stars, which is why that the illustrious X Factor panel of Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, L.A. Reid, and some nobody named Louis Walsh (who was filling in for a conveniently ill Simon Cowell) abruptly left during the Kansas City auditions because one contestant sang with his back to them through his entire performance. Eyewitnesses say that the back-singer was acutely bad anyway and had a really negative attitude, so we can all rest easy knowing that the judges probably didn't overlook one of the great, untamed talents of Kansas City. Then again, we ought to have at least a little empathy for the X Factor hopeful, because how many of us have gotten turned around during a grade school talent show, mistaken sheet music stands for an adoring parental audience because we were horribly nearsighted, and serenaded inanimate objects with a serviceable rendition of "Jingle Bell Rock"? It happens to everyone. [People]

  • D'Angelo concluded his global sojourn last night when he made his first U.S. appearance in 12 years at Bonnaroo. Let's all welcome him back and try not to objectify him too hard. [AP]
  • Speaking of objectifying male celebrities, some of you might have been fooled by what seemed to be a provocative picture of endangered white lion Anderson Cooper presenting himself. The picture's very clearly a fake, because, while we can all agree from his Michael Phelps vanity segment that Coops is in great shape, it seemed odd that his grey head of hair would sprout out of the neckless body of a twenty-something exhibitionist. [Paula Froelich]
  • More objectifying male celebrities, let's see...oh, actor Donald Sutherland was presented with the Commander of Arts award in France on Saturday for his strangely magnetic sexuality in movies like Federico Fellini's Casanova. For further proof of Sutherland's mesmerizing blue eyes, watch Eye of the Needle because it's a pretty m'ok way to spend a Sunday afternoon. [AP]
  • It's probably still alright alright alright alright to objectify Matthew McConaughey because the people who put him in movies are pretty much counting on us to keep doing it, but just as long as we all understand that he married longtime girlfriend Camila Alves Saturday night. [E!]
  • Joey Lawrence wants you to objectify him because he danced as a Chippendale Friday night in Vegas. [People]
  • Everybody wants to be the first in line to spend $375 retail on Kanye West's new shoes. [E!]
  • Mexico City officials are worried that their good citizens will smother Justin Bieber with love, as they expect attendance the FREE! Bieber concert in the city's central plaza to exceed the 200,000 record set by Paul McCartney's May 10 shindig. [AP]
  • Brian Soileau, star of two, count ‘em, two Lana Del Rey music videos, criticized the singer from the peanut gallery of our modern world that is Twitter for being on drugs like all time. He also had these particularly venomous words for Del Rey about her mystifying music career: "Nothing you do is original, everyone that meets you fucking hates you. Your [sic] a no talent diva. Get a life." Way harsh. Let's hope that at least one faithful grammarian #corrections the shit out of Soileau's "your" mistake. [ONTD]
  • Katy Perry could be in the running to play Freddie Mercury's wife Mary Austin in a forthcoming biopic about the late and particularly great singer. [Mirror]
  • Lindsay Lohan has insinuated that, while the truck driver she was involved in an accident with is lying about her offering him some hush money, he's probably right to think that the crash was her, or at least her car Herbie's fault — she's claiming that her brakes failed. [TMZ]
  • The Jersey Shore streetfighters (read: video game franchise opportunity) officially inaugurated summer with a reportedly "massive" bar fight in Seaside Heights. [Us]
  • Vice President Joe Biden also got into the summer spirit by tucking his collared shirt into his khaki shorts and hosting a water gun fight for some little kids. [CNN
  • Jazz and blues guitarist Pete Cosey, who recorded with Miles Davis, Howlin' Wolf, and Muddy Waters, died in Chicago at 68, leaving the world a far less sonorous place. [AP]
  • Tommy Chong revealed that he has prostate cancer and a prescription for some killer bud. [TMZ]
  • Shirley MacLaine received the AFI "Lifetime Achievement Award" for having an awesome career. [AP]
  • How will America figure out what the fuck is wrong with all its cars now that NPR's Car Talk duo, brothers Tom and Ray Magliozzi, is hanging up its monkey wrenches forever? The future is full of uncertainty. [AP]