I'm at a total loss as to how one could parent without internet access. I mean, what did people do when their 9-month-old still hadn't cut a tooth before technology enabled them to perform a Google search on whether a disease exists in which people are born without the ability to grow teeth? Did they just stew quietly in their own fears about their baby living a life looking like Anna Nicole Smith's cousin Shelly? Because you can't bother your pediatrician all the time with this shit, lest he figure you for the total psycho freak that you are.
I blame Discovery Health channel for my fascination with abnormal anatomy. I live for documentary specials like The Woman with Half a Body, The World's Strongest Boy, Tree Man, Mermaid Girl (RIP), and particularly the Lori and Dori/Reba/George Schappell, conjoined twins attached at the face, one of whom is wheelchair-bound and also transgendered. When I got pregnant, my latent guilt for treating that kind of programming reared its ugly head; I feared that my karmic punishment would be to have a child with some kind of rare physical condition. And what if all the drugs I did in my 20s damaged my eggs?