Florida Strip Clubs Ready Themselves for GOP Convention Crowd and Most Depressing Debauchery EverS

This year's Republican National Committee Convention will be held in Tampa, Florida in August. And in case you didn't already fill in your Depressing Shit Bingo card: strip clubs — America's wang's undercarriage — are anticipating an influx of convention-related business, and are offering potential customers the opportunity to subscribe online to a web stream of what's going on in the clurb before they land their impeccable side parted haircuts in town.

One of Tampa gentleman's clubs began offering internet perverts the chance to subscribe to livestream of the club's goings on and even interact with their favorite dancers a few years ago, and two more will follow shortly, according to the Tampa Bay Times. The web service operates like a social networking through a two way mirror — subscribers to the service can see what the dancers are doing as they change into and out of costumes and put their makeup on as well as watch them dance onstage, but dancers can't see the subscribers, who can tip, "Make it Rain" (cause a cascade of bills to fall from the club's ceiling over the main stage), or, in clubs with room for a web studio, chat one-on-one with dancers from the pantsless comfort of their own homes. Club owners and promoters hope that this service will prime the pump for GOP convention attendees, who will be able to scope out local talent before they have to make the crucial "where should I watch ladies take their clothes off?" decision.

Will conservative convention attendees actually visit Tampa strip clubs when they're not in the tear-lubed masturbation-enabling privacy of their own homes? That remains to be seen. But, despite the uncertainty around the exact level of hypocrisy members of America's "family values" party will display in Florida this summer, it's clear that the future of strip club marketing lies in webcams and online subscriptions. You know what they say in the world of stripping (this is probably not what they say): "As Tampa goes, so goes America."

[Tampa Bay Times]