Condi Rice Supports Romney Because Obama Doesn't Think America Is Awesome EnoughS

Today, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice predictably announced that she'll be supporting Mitt Romney in this fall's Presidential election. Her reasoning? Mitt Romney thinks America is the greatest, bestest, most explodiest star spangliest country ever, and Barack Obama doesn't. Looks like all that time spent shirtless with his nipples painted to look like stars from the American flag has paid off for the former Governor of Massachusetts.

The announcement came at a Republican fundraiser in California last night. Rice told the crowd,

If America is going to rebuild its strength at home, rebuild its sense of who we are, it needs a leader that also understands how really exceptional the United States of America is, and is not afraid to lead on the basis of that exceptionalism," Rice told about 300 donors. "The only thing that people dislike more than unilateral American leadership is no American leadership at all.

Whoa! Nice hat tip to the Bush administration! Me & my buddies' leadership: second shittiest ever.

Wonkette wonders (sarcastically, natch) if Condi's vocal support of Mitt means she's angling for a Vice Presidential nomination, which is an interesting thought. Rice is a smart woman, tough, with the foreign policy experience that Romney sorely lacks. Unfortunately, Honeywell has not yet invented a device that can successfully erase all Americans' memories prior to January 2009, and the bad taste that the Bush administration left in many people's mouths still lingers.

Now that the race to the Presidency has been declared an America school spirit competition, it's rumored that President Obama is furiously choreographing a flash mob in Central Park. Not giving the whole thing away, but it involves people wearing different colored tee shirts, an American flag visible from several thousand feet up, and Lee Greenwood's "Proud to Be an American."

[WINZ]