Purveyors of Boring Crap Can't Wait to Turn Pinterest Into Home Depot

If you're like me and all the stereotypes, you are a lady who uses Pinterest to look at cute ways to prepare strawberry shortcake or shoes that will help you break your ankle in the most beautiful possible way or hipster newlyweds holding hands in a cornfield. But warning, mindless browsers of the online scrapbook site — marketers are onto your idle relaxation habits... and they can't wait to flood Pinterest with ads for boring crap.

Yesterday, Forbes writer Eve Mayer Orsburn noted that online retailers were letting a big opportunity pass them by if they didn't take advantage of Pinterest's audience — 80% of users are female, 75% of them are between the ages of 25 and 54, the years that biologists refer to as the Filling the Emptiness With Purchased Crap Phase. And Pinterest users have money to burn; most of them have a healthy household income between $50,000 and $70,000.

Slowly and surely, retailers are taking notice. Including retailers who are selling the sort of crap is so boring that it's literally like watching paint dry. Take, for example, the Pinterest account of ETSC, a small cleaning supply company that sells industrial washing machines (NOT candy colored cute washing machines in sun drenched, idealized laundry rooms with impeccably painted shelves; regular boring-ass washing machines for boring-ass government institutions like schools), machine parts (and not machine parts in a rainbow of colors arranged in the order of the light spectrum and displayed on a perfectly white background; regular boring-ass machine parts), and detergents (not detergents displayed in repurposed vases and made to look like they're supporting fake flowers; regular, boring-ass detergents like the kind the school janitor would use to scrub pictures of magic marker dicks off the insides of lockers). Boo-ring.

A Pinterest search for "hardware" today yielded pictures of antique door knobs, door knockers, kitchen cabinets with green towels draped over, and tools made out of wood. But some day soon, search results on Pinterest may lead to sites that are trying to sell actual screws and nuts and bolts and stuff. This makes me inordinately sad. I visit Pinterest for the mental break from the constant barrage of ads that characterizes my daily existence as an urban dwelling pop culture participating American. I just wanna float mindlessly on the sea of twee! I don't want a sales pitch!

I feel like I should start a Pinterest board full of pictures of things jumping over sharks.

[NYT]